Pace Of Life
by CollinsJ
Summary: Everyone wants to be the sun to lighten up someones life, but why not be the moon, to brighten in the darkest hour. Jane's cardiac arrest could have killed her if Maura hadn't been in the right place at the right time. AU Rizzles.
1. Chapter 1

**The thing is, I think you needed to happen to me – Rachel Wolchin**

Jane sighed heavily. The poor woman had honestly had enough, and she was sure she couldn't take anymore.

''You know what bothers me?'' She interrupted her mother's rant. ''The fact that you refuse to see any other way I could live my life other than the way you want''

''That's not true Jane!'' Angela argued, watching her daughter contour her face in disagreement as she navigated her way through traffic.

A few seconds of silence passed as Jane checked her rear view mirror to make sure Frost and Frankie were still following behind. They were; but they were much further back than they had been before – Jane couldn't be bothered to slow her pace for them.

''Casey is a nice man Jane. Perhaps if you would just give him another try things-''

''For what, the fifth time?'' Jane raised her voice. ''don't you get it? He wants to have his cake and eat it too''

''Jane-''

''No!'' She cut her mother off again. ''He wants me, but he also wants to be in Afghanistan. He can't have both. He can't keep me here as his safety net, OK!''

''But was it necessary to break things off immediately? And to move out?''

''I thought you were happy to have me living with you guys,'' she said in an attempt to divert the conversation a little. The truth is that she was really stressed out. For the past two weeks she had been living with her parents – a feat only meant for the bold and the brave. Casey had decided he wanted to return to Afghanistan and Jane was fed up of waiting each time he left. She broke off their six year relationship and moved out of their apartment deciding to live with her parents temporarily until she got her own place.

''You know I love having you over Jane. It's just that…you know. You could have…waited things out a little''

Jane angrily pushed the box of random things in her passenger seat. She had thrown in some of her smaller bits of junk from the move and had forgotten the box at Frankie's place a couple weeks ago. She could hear her mother huffing exasperatedly to herself in the back. ''What you want to say to me Ma is that I should have stayed with Casey until I met someone else. But you know that's bad advice, so even though you are thinking it, you really can't say it.'' When Angela was about to deny it Jane quickly carried on. ''I could have done that Ma. But I've really had enough of Casey. I don't love him anymore to be honest. It's not the sort of relationship I want. You know, maybe him going back to Afghanistan doesn't even really have anything to do with this. The relationship has reached its end, and even though you don't accept it, him and I both do''

Angela peered out the window, listening intently to her daughter's wise words. These were all things she hadn't even considered.

The temperatures were still pretty warm for September; this was confirmed when Jane cracked her window open just a fraction. She felt really peculiar; a feeling she couldn't put to words. She was about to say something, but found that she hadn't enough strength to form a word. The last thing she remembers is the traffic light turning green in front of her, and her mother's voice prompting her to move.

''Jane,'' Angela bellowed louder from the back seat. ''Oh God!'' she gasped as she witnessed her daughter bending over the steering wheel, looking every bit as boneless as a rag doll. ''JANE!'' she yelled helplessly as she pushed her door open with enough force to almost break it off its hinges. She used the same amount of potency to open Jane's door to turn off the car, and gasped once again at seeing the state her daughter was in. ''Jane,'' she cried once again, pushing the brunette away from the wheel so she could rest against the seat. Angela helplessly looked back to identify Frankie's car which should have been a few yards back. Relief flooded her entire body, almost bringing her to her knees when she spotted the car coming up. It was around six-thirty, not a very busy time in the residential area they were driving past on their way Angela and Frank's house. A handful of cars passed them, driving just a little bit slower to see what the woman standing in the middle of the road was doing. Angela was continuously and frantically waving Frankie and Frost over even as their car had come to a quick and sudden stop. It must have only been a minute since Jane had been unresponsive, but to Angela it felt like a right lifetime.

''Ma?'' Frankie asked as he literally jumped out of his car, Frost in tow.

''I don't know,'' Angela cried, motioning the men towards Jane.

''Jane!'' Frankie called, trying to rouse his sister as Frost came to his side.

''What's wrong with her?'' Angela was crying desperately, now that she could see Frost wildly dialling for the ambulance.

Frost and Frankie exchanged a few panicked words as they urgently dragged Jane out of the vehicle onto the road. ''Angela,'' Frost said in an authoritative voice, ''you have to take the phone.'' Without waiting for a response he handed the device over to the woman and knelt over Jane with Frankie, who had promptly started CPR. Bless him – his hands were shaking; his _whole body_ was shaking. He was hardly in a position to perform in any way that could yield positive results.

The thing is; you can know all forms of medical emergency techniques, but sometimes when it's your sisters lifeless body you are staring at, it can become almost impossible to help. Just as Frost was about to take over a woman bent down beside Frankie. They had all been too preoccupied to notice her arrival.

...

Maura had been driving past a part of Boston she had never been to. One of her assistants was having a baby shower that she had been invited to – obligatory of course. As the Chief Autopsy Technician at Massachusetts General Hospital, it wouldn't look right if every other woman in the department was invited except for her.

Just to show face she had lingered around for a couple of hours, had half a glass of wine, presented her gift and left. They were all very nice people, it's just that Maura felt socially inadequate around them. Which was made worse by the fact that her weirdness caused others to feel weird around her as well. All in all, she preferred to just avoid such situations and let everyone else have a nice time without her unconsciously ruining it.

As she tried to navigate her way out of Sarah's neighbourhood in order to reach a familiar route she spotted slight commotion ahead of her. It was only just nearing sunset but from her vehicle she couldn't really tell what was happening. A woman was on the phone weeping into her mobile device, as two young men knelt over a body on the ground.

 _Could it have been an accident?_

Maura scratched that thought immediately; there were no wrecked cars.

The doctor in her propelled her towards the activity in record time. Upon arrival she had tried to communicate to one of the three individuals at the scene but everyone appeared too distraught to hear her.

She wasn't a guesser, but it appeared the woman lying down had suffered a sudden cardiac arrest. The younger man performing CPR didn't look to be doing an efficient job. The woman helplessly pacing around them was evidently on the phone with paramedics who were on their way.

''I'm a doctor,'' Maura announced as she directed for Frankie to move so that she could take over. She might have been a small woman, but everyone was immediately impressed by the way she powerfully started doing CPR and rescue breaths. ''What happened?'' Maura finally inquired, after she had set a rhythm she was confident with.

''She uhhhh….I don't know,'' Frankie answered, seemingly just realising that he actually has no idea what happened. ''Ma?'' He turned to his wailing mother, getting up to comfort her.

''We were just driving and she…and she just fell forward and that was it. I...I don't know what happened. Oh Lord, is she going to be OK?'' Suffice it to say, Angela was a mess.

The ambulance sirens could now be heard in the distance. ''How long has she been unconscious for?'' Maura asked them all, studiously continuing with her compressions and mouth to mouth.

''A few minutes….maybe almost three. Not very long'' Frankie nervously answered.

It didn't long before the ambulance came to an abrupt stop just to the side of the road. Three EMT's rushed out, carrying their defibrillators and various other equipment.

Once all necessary connections were made Maura stopped her chest compressions and gave way for the experts to do their job. Stood to the side, she could hear information being tossed around: She's a police officer – Jane Rizzoli – 29 years old – Sudden Cardiac Arrest – no medical conditions to be made aware off – no recent cardiac trauma – single – no children. Maura zoned out a little bit, it was all a bit too much to take in.

After the eighth shock, one of the EMT's announced victoriously, ''we have a pulse.'' Maura heard arrangements being made about taking her straight to Massachusetts General Hospital, and in that moment she was vividly aware of the fact that this woman had technically died for at least a minute or two. ''Are you the one who attended immediately to this lady?'' Maura saw the Hispanic EMT asking her. ''Yes. I mean, no. When I arrived this gentleman,'' she gestured to Frankie, ''had begun performing CPR''

''Well, you _both_ saved her life then. Those rescue breaths, done very efficiently I must add, went a long way in preserving her life till we got here.'' He looked to everyone else. ''We'll have a full report once she's admitted into Mass Gen''

''We'll meet you there,'' Frankie said to the man as he got into the ambulance. And before anymore could be said he engulfed Maura in an unexpected embrace. ''Thank you,'' he told her. And Maura could feel him shaking with repressed sobs. ''Thank you _so_ much.''

Caught completely unaware, Maura shyly accepted the hug and modestly said she didn't do much that they couldn't have handled without her anyways.

* * *

There's a lot that can be said about saving someone's life. Maura had never done that before – she had never literally been the reason why a person was alive. Sure she had helped deliver about three births, and had attended to numerous ailing patients. But when you think about it, those people could still have survived without her input. The same can't be said for Jane though.

Frankie's attempt at CPR had caused some cracked ribs for Jane, and in itself would not have been effective enough to preserve her life (possibly). The doctor's report had in fact confirmed Maura's suspicions; Jane _had_ technically been dead for a minute and a half. The mouth to mouth Maura performed helped to provide Jane with enough oxygen to spare brain death till the EMT's arrived.

Jane had been lucky to survive.

And by sheer chance, Maura had just been in the right place at the right time.

''Thanks for meeting me,'' Angela said, shaking Maura's hand before sitting down.

''It's no problem really,'' The doctor sat as well. Maura had been more than surprised to receive a phone call from Frankie a couple of days ago. It had been about two and a half weeks since the incident with Jane. When they had parted ways that evening, Frost had asked for Maura's card before she had driven away. Understandably, she hadn't heard anything, given the gravity of the situation. She had not followed them to the hospital, for the simple fact that she was a stranger to them who had only offered help. She had been sure though, on several occasions, to make sure Jane was alright. ''How is your daughter doing?''

''Much better now. I don't even know how I can possibly thank you Doctor Isles.'' _This_ was one of the reasons Maura had severed any thought of any sort of contact with these people. She couldn't deal with the constant thank you's. She couldn't deal with knowing that the Rizzoli's thought they owed her anything. And when she said it was nothing really, she couldn't deal with people thinking she was being overly modest as a form of seeking attention. Plain and simple – she couldn't handle it. She was very proud to have saved Jane's life, and that was enough for her. She didn't need to see Jane every day in order to be reminded that she had been Jane's life saver.

She had discreetly spoken to Jane's doctor in the days that the brunette had been admitted: And Maura had learned that Angela was Jane's mother and that Frankie was her bother and Frost her work partner. She had asked her, Jane's doctor, to contact her only if there ever was a problem with Jane.

''Please, don't mention it. It's really alright'' she assured Angela.

They were sat in the hospital cafeteria having lunch during Maura's break time.

''She has a pacemaker inside her. They uhhh, they said she has a slow beating heart,'' Angela began, speaking as if she was talking to a friend of many years. ''And her heart beats might have been too fast which can be caused by stress, since there were no other problems found''

''Was she under a lot of stress?'' Maura found herself answering, and then blushing profusely after realising how intrusive that might have sounded.

It made Angela smile a little. And then she quickly sobered up. ''I think she was. And it's mostly my fault.''

Maura found herself feeling deeply sorry for the woman sitting across from her. She sipped her tea, trying to buy a bit of time. She really couldn't object to what Angela said, or deny it either, she didn't know anything.

''We had been arguing when she collapsed''

Ahhh, some tangible evidence to go with it, Maura thought.

''About a month or so ago, she broke up with her boyfriend. He moved to Afghanistan and sold their apartment where she lived with him. It was all kind of short notice, so she came home to live with us while she looked for a place of her own. It had only been a few weeks living together, and I kept pestering her about why she had broken things off with Casey,'' Angela kept going on, while Maura diligently listened as if she'd be tested on all this information once Angela was finished. ''I think I drove her to drink more, and to work even more. I hated her job by the way. She did anything she could just to be away from home and my nagging mouth. Frank, my husband, he kept telling me that I would permanently drive her away one day if I kept at it. I don't know why I never used to listen.'' Angela shook her head remorsefully. ''I always thought you know, that driving her away would mean she would go and live with Frankie for a bit. Or that she would move to another state or something. And I kept thinking, oh I'll follow her there and bring her back,'' she smiled sadly at Maura, who smiled back too. ''it never occurred to me that driving her away could mean she'd die.'' Angela stopped there, she felt like she was re-living that evening all over again. Flashbacks of her daughter's lifeless body lying on the street suddenly came back to her. It was a nightmare, one she prays every day that she never has to live again. ''I'm so glad she's alright''

''I'm glad too.'' This was all Maura could say.

''I met with another doctor yesterday. They were explaining to me about the implications of all of this. That it may take a long while for all of us to deal with the effects of everything,'' she flailed her hands as means of explaining something she couldn't quite put to words. ''They said Jane might take anything between six to twelve months to fully recover emotionally and physically. And that she will have to start to deal with life with a pacemaker. And also that she may not fully be able to return to her previous life. If this affects her job she'll _never_ forgive me Doctor Isles, never.''

Maura was taken aback. It was as if Angela was seeking absolution from her. As if there was something Maura could say to make everything better.

''It seems like everything here is all about time. You can't really know anything for sure yet.'' Maura wasn't sure if her words were helpful at all. But that's all she could come up with in that moment.

''Why is it easier to speak to a stranger sometimes? Although I'm not entirely sure I can call you a stranger,'' she quickly added the last part, staring at her untouched cup of coffee.

''I think it _is_ safe to say that I am a stranger.''

''To me you're the angel who saved my daughter's life.'' Maura blushed again. ''its Jane's birthday next Friday. The 15th. We were thinking of just having a small get together in her room for her since it's her thirtieth.''

''Oh that sounds lovely,'' Maura said eagerly, happy for anything that resembled a lighter topic to discuss.

''I doubt she'll think so,'' Angela laughed knowingly. ''My Jane is a bit of a hard one''

''Do you suppose she won't be pleased with a get together?'' Maura wondered. The idea sounded nice enough. God knows no one had ever organised a get together (except for last year) for her since her 18th birthday. And there also wasn't any need for her to inform Angela that _her_ birthday was that Thursday, a day before Jane's that she would be turning 31.

''A lot has changed I guess, so maybe she has changed too. Normally, she wouldn't have liked it. But I feel like it's her thirtieth you know, and with everything that's happened, there is need for a bit of a celebration don't you think?''

Maura didn't know in all honesty. The previous year she had got a card and present in the mail from her parents, as well as a few other cards from former colleagues. Ian, her ex, was the only one who called to wish her a birthday. And the pathology departed had a small lunch for her, one that Lori her assistant had arranged (for reasons Maura still couldn't comprehend).

''I would love for you to join us.'' Angela said.

Maura was caught completely off guard and took a while to respond. ''I don't want to intrude Angela''

''It's no intrusion. Jane has asked to meet you, and my husband would like to meet you as well.''

''I don't know Mrs Rizzoli. It seems more like a family get together. I could arrange another time to meet with your daughter''

''Oh stop worrying. It's Just Frost and Frankie that you met before, and my husband and I, and Korsak who they work with. There is nothing to worry about,'' she stated again.

Maura looked _very_ sceptical. This was not her type of thing at all. It was hard enough socialising with people she knew, let alone those she didn't. And she knew she was going to get more thank you's that she knew what to do with.

''Please. We'd all love to have you there. It will only be about a couple of hours in the evening''

Angela was too sincere for Maura to be able to decline the offer, ''Alright then, I'll come. Thank you for the invitation.''

* * *

 **AN: Inspired by this youtube video : /HxlIAQj4IWY**

 **This is NOT going to be angsty (or like sad or anything)**

 **I don't like Casey so** **I can assure you he won't be featuring again. I'm sorry if I butchered the medical bits, I tried to do some research.**

 **Not sure how long this will be, I'll tell you once I get a clearer picture. Will also try to do fast updates. Thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Made an error in chapter 1 that I fixed. For those that didn't realise, I meant to write 'this is NOT going to be angsty'. And of course I missed out the most important word in that's sentence. Anyway, happy reading…**

* * *

 **-There will always be a reason why you meet new people. Either you need to change your life, or you're the one that will change theirs-**

If Jane thought her life sucked before, she was wrong. _NOW_ it sucked. It was easier for her to count the good things happening to her as opposed to the bad. Because the good approximated to about…nothing. Well there was one thing, she was among the six percent of people that survived cardiac arrest (or was it twelve percent? She wasn't entirely sure). Oh and then there was the fact that she didn't have to live in her parents' house at the moment. But that didn't really count because in place of that she was living in MassGen. And the obvious fact that she'd have to go back to her parents after she was discharged. Right, so we're back to one good thing. Oh wait; there was also the change in her mother's behaviour. A near death experience, she learned, was a one hundred percent effective way of getting her mother off her back – of essentially turning her mum into a _normal_ mum.

Things were getting worse.

Everyone was scheduled to show up that afternoon for a 'party' _(yay, she thought sarcastically)_.

Oh yes, here was another good thing – she'd finally get to meet doctor Maura Isles, her saviour. She was happy and nervous at the same time. Jane wasn't sure how she could properly thank the woman for what she had done for her.

...

Jane wore a long sleeved blue t-shirt with tights, under the sheet. She sat up on her bed surrounded by her family, and Frost and Korsak. The only guest left was Doctor Isles.

Maura was like one of those women from a Chanel catalogue – beautiful, elegant, and untouchable. Jane watched her walk in, almost as if on slow motion. Maura was wearing a round neck black dress which reached just above her knees with a turquoise three quarter sleeve blazer. The only jewellery she wore was a plain silver necklace, silver studs on her ears, and a silver watch.

She was a vision.

The pathologist's long blonde hair bounced up and down as her four inch heels gracefully tapped the floor. ''I apologise for running late,'' She breathlessly blurted. ''The traffic light around the corner wasn't working and-''

''It's alright Doctor Isles,'' Angela moved to give her a hug in greeting. ''When we say 2pm around here,'' she gestured to her family, ''we never really _mean_ 2pm''

Jane noticed the slight confusion on the doctor's face. Clearly 2pm to Doctor Isles meant 2pm.

Angela didn't notice this of course.

''This is my Jane,'' she announced proudly, gently pushing Maura towards the brunette.

''It's lovely to meet you,'' Maura greeted Jane with a handshake, barely meeting her eyes. The blonde fussed a little with her handbag and looked everywhere to avoid meeting Jane's eyes.

''And this is my husband,'' Angela practically turned Maura's body to face the other guys.

''Thank you very much Doctor Isles. It's really nice to finally meet you,'' the man said diplomatically.

''Nice to meet you again,'' Frankie said.

''Likewise,'' Frost added.

''Detective Korsak,'' the older man introduced himself. ''I work with this one over here,'' he playfully pointed to Jane.

''It's wonderful to meet you all,'' Maura said shyly to them, fiddling a little with the handle of her handbag.

Jane was aware that she hadn't said a single word to Maura. There was so much she wanted to say, too much in fact. She hardly knew where to begin.

''Ha-Happy birthday…'' Maura faltered a little, and left the sentence hanging. The truth, Jane could clearly tell, was that Maura didn't know what to call her – Jane? Officer Rizzoli? ''It's not much but I figured you wouldn't have gotten one yet and I thought perhaps you would need it.'' Maura rumbled as she pulled a small wrapped box out of her bad and a card.

''Thank you,'' Jane rasped - Her first words to the doctor. Her voice was still groggy from being under-used, and she still felt very tired. She took the box from the blonde, noticing once again how Maura quickly averted her eyes from her. Jane was sure the blonde didn't want to be there at all. She placed the gift on her bed side, choosing to open it later.

After all the awkwardness was out of the way, everyone began to interact with each other. The guys thanked Maura over and over again, as she continued to tell them it was alright. At one point Mr Rizzoli pulled her into a grateful hug for what she had done for her daughter. Jane mainly spoke about how she was feeling, because that's all everyone kept asking her; _''are you alright?''_. No! I'm not alright she wanted to scream.

They cut the small cake they had bought, and Jane opened her other presents. 2 tickets to a baseball game in December, from Frost and Korsak. A spa day ticket for two, from Frankie. A five hundred dollar gift card for Bed Bath & Beyond from her parents. And a birthday card from Tommy, who was still in prison.

''We figured you could get some house things when you get your apartment,'' Frank explained.

''No hurry though,'' Angela quickly added throwing a stern look at her husband.

Jane just hoped they wouldn't start this conversation with Doctor Isles in the room.

After a short while Jane suddenly burst out laughing. All eyes turned to her to see what was so humorous. ''When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens; you see yourself acting like your parents,'' Jane read out from the card in her hand.

Leave it to Tommy.

''He's a funny one isn't he,'' Frank said wistfully. They all missed Tommy.

''I bet that's all that card says,'' Frankie laughed.

''Yap,'' the sister replied. ''that's all he needed to tell me.''

They all laughed, except for Maura. She obviously didn't understand what that was all about. And this was one particular reason she never wanted to intrude intimate gatherings, she always found herself unaware of what was taking place.

''May I open yours Doctor Isles?'' Maura almost jumped out of her skin. She'd felt invisible for a second there and was startled to hear her name, and subsequently, everyone staring at her.

''By all means'' She said, casting the usual quick glance towards Jane and hoping the brunette wouldn't read the card out loud.

Jane read her mind. She looked at the card with undivided interest and after reading it twice she placed it on her bedside next to the one from Tommy and the present she was yet to open.

Maura didn't dare look at her reaction.

Everyone else got talking a bit more among themselves, and a nurse popped in to check on Jane and promptly left. All in all, it didn't turn out as bad as Jane had imagined it would. Her mother didn't embarrass her and her work mates didn't make her feel like an invalid.

''Hey aren't you gonna open your gift?'' Frank asked, looking at the small box beside Jane intently.

That was an Angela kind of move, so it really threw Jane off. ''Uhhh, I'll look at it later,'' she said trying to go for nonchalance.

''Oh come on sweetheart. You've opened all the other gifts. Doctor Isles here might start thinking you don't appreciate it''

''Wh-what?'' she panicked. ''Of course I appreciate it,'' Jane said sincerely, looking at Maura pleadingly. She hadn't considered for a second that it would come off that way. The blonde had looked hugely uncomfortable and Jane had thought taking the attention off her would help. And if she was being honest, part of her wanted to open it when she was alone – for whatever reason.

''Then open it'' her father persisted.

Jane made quick work of opening it, not wanting to seem ungrateful to a woman who she practically owed her life to.

Carefully unwrapping the small box, Jane tenderly stroked the velvet exterior. Maura was watching with bated breath, hating Frank a tiny bit for causing such a fuss. Inside the box sat a silver heart shaped necklace. The top was a glossy purple with the design of an x-ray vision of the chest with a visible pacemaker. ''Wow, Doctor Isles. This is…nice,'' she said taking the necklace out to admire it closely. ''You really didn't have to'' she said weakly. Feeling guilty at the thought of how expensive it must have been.

''Don't mention it, please. It's more of a necessity really,'' The blonde answered, wishing she could leave already. ''Your details are on the back,'' she added quietly.

Jane immediately turned it over, and as Maura had said, her details _were_ there. Engraved at the back was Jane's full name and the name of her type of pacemaker.

''It would be beneficial for you to have it on always, if you can,'' Maura blushed. Suddenly she realised, and so did Jane, that Maura had given her something that she basically had to put on every day of her life; Something that would remind Jane of Maura every single day.

What if she doesn't like it Maura worried. What if she doesn't _want_ to be reminded of me every single day. What is she wanted to get a necklace of her own, one with a design and colour she liked. What if-

''I love it,'' Jane's deep voice broke through her racing thoughts. ''It's very thoughtful of you. It's beautiful.'' At those words, at Jane's honest and raw words, Maura finally looked her in the eye and maintained eye contact. Jane really meant it, and Maura was glad. The blonde smiled at Jane and finally turned away. _That_ was an even better birthday gift for Jane.

''You seem to be the only reasonable one here Dr Isles,'' Frank laughed. ''We were busy getting season tickets and vouchers instead of getting something meaningful for Jane''

They all laughed, except for Maura. Because she left like maybe they would feel as if she was trying to be all high and mighty; as if she was intent on out-doing everyone's gift.

''Thank you,'' Jane said again, breaking her thoughts. And all Maura could do was offer a small smile.

Since the blonde received the invitation she had been absolutely stressed. She didn't know what to wear, and she didn't know what to get Jane as a gift. She knew almost nothing about Jane, how on earth was she supposed to find her a gift. Maura had briefly contemplated not going. If she could lie, she would have rung Angela to say she couldn't make because of something. The thought of the necklace had come to her one night before going to bed and she knew right away that it was the only thing she could possibly get Officer Rizzoli. Choosing a design had been another set problems once again. There were many to select from, and Maura ended up going with what she liked and hoped for the best. She had spent three hundred and fifty on the necklace, a secret she would never tell anyone. She didn't know why, but she had felt the need to select the best she could – the cost was not a factor at all.

About half an hour later Jane yawned and threw her back against the pillow. She was exhausted.

''I think we'll get going now Jane,'' Korsak said.

Maura felt elated. She'd wanted to say those word an hour ago but couldn't muster the courage. She liked everyone there. They were all very lovely people. It's just that she didn't know what to say or do with herself half the time. She knew she was better off in the comfort of her home.

''Yes, we better head out now baby,'' Angela said regretfully. Clearly _she_ wanted to stay.

They all said their good-byes, which lasted another half hour. And by 6pm they were all gone. Once Jane's eyes closed, she fell asleep immediately.

* * *

 **AN: Will try to update every couple of days hopefully.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own R &I nor do I make any money from this. **

* * *

**Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen – Michael Jordan.**

Sometimes when you are too tired you find you can't sleep very well. ''Good morning'' Jane husked to the nurse who was checking up on her.

''More like good _night_ Jane. Its only nine thirty'' The nurse laughed lightly.

''Felt like I've been asleep a whole night,'' Jane scooted herself up into a sitting position, using the controller to lift the head of the bed up.

''Do you feel like having something to eat?'' Kelly, the nurse asked.

''Not really. Maybe just a drink''

''You haven't eaten anything since around five. I don't think you'll be alright till 8am,'' Kelly argued, raising her eyebrows.

''Maybe just toast and a hot drink. Hot chocolate or something.''

''That's more like it,'' the chunky woman smiled, heading out to get food for her patient.

Jane ran her hands over her face, trying once again to get to grips with her life. Each time she woke up she seemed to take a couple of minutes to just remind herself of everything that had happened and take stock of where she was now.

That's how she suddenly remembered the birthday card she got from Maura. Pulling it out of the envelope, she read the poem inside again-

'' _Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,_

 _So, love the people that treat you right,_

 _And forget about the ones who don't,_

 _And believe that everything happens for a reason…_

 _If you get a chance – take it,_

 _If it changes your life – let it,_

 _Nobody said that it would be easy…_

 _They just promised it would be worth it._

It was like Doctor Isles knew her. As if the pathologist had known of the turmoil Jane was going through. **Life is too short** – she didn't need reminding of that. Her every breath would be a constant reminder. **Love the people that treat you right and forget the ones that don't** – she had moved on from Casey. She needed to accept it was over and start opening her eyes to those people that actually put her first. **Believe that everything happens for a reason** – she was yet to find out the reason why she had had a near death experience and the reason why she had survived. And also the reason why she had this pacemaker to constantly remind her that she didn't have all the time in the world. **Get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it –** she was battling hard with that one. She had been given a second chance to life yes, but she was still struggling with the changes. Would she be able to cope? Would she _want_ to be able to cope? **Nobody said it would be easy, but it would be worth –** she knew already that life wasn't easy. But was it all worth it. Would all this be worth it? How? When?

That card from Doctor Isles was her whole life in a nutshell. How had this stranger known?

Fidgeting around Jane took another look at her card from Tommy, and laughed again. Despite his rebellious ways, she stilled loved her brother. She glanced at the voucher for Bed Bath & Beyond again, feeling grateful for her parent's considerations. She would definitely need a lot of things for her new apartment. She and Casey had sold all their property because both of them wanted a fresh start, meaning after Jane got an apartment she'd have to buy everything from scratch basically. And then there was the Spa day voucher and Baseball game weekend, all for two. They had obviously bought those with Casey in mind, thinking the two would rekindle things. Jane tried to imagine how she was going to enjoy a whole weekend in the Dominican Republic alone. The gesture was great. She was booked to watch some major league baseball stars play two off-season games on the first weekend in December. The hotel was even included. She just needed to get her own plane ticket. '' _Perhaps some time alone will do me good,'' she mused._

After having something to eat Jane decide to text Frost and ask for Doctor Isles' phone number. She felt another thank you would do, seeing as that she hadn't said much when the woman had been present.

Frost replied almost instantly.

The brunette typed and retyped variations of the same thing, not finding the right words to say to the good doctor. She huffed, knowing she'd never really get the perfect words anyways.

 **Thnx 4 comng ystrdy. Got ur # frm Frost. Jane – J**

Exhaling loudly, Jane hoped a simple message would be a starting point. She felt like a primary school student trying to tell someone she had a crush on them. It was pathetic really, especially for a grown ass woman like herself.

It took twenty three minutes for the blonde to reply – Jane was counting.

 **It was no trouble Officer Rizzoli – M**

The response sounded too formal for Jane's liking.

 **Plz, call me Jane – J**

 **In that case, you may call me Maura – M**

 **U seemd a bit uncomfy ystrdy. Hope my Ma ddnt 4c u 2 come – J.** Jane ventured down this path, hoping to at least have a proper conversation with the doctor.

Maura replied a couple of minutes later. **I must say, it's a bit challenging to read your short hand. Do you always text like this? – M**

 **My bad. I'm just used to typing as little as possible – J**

 **Well now that was easier to read. I didn't have to go over it three times to properly understand – M**

 **Lol. I'll have to learn to type properly when I'm texting u huh – J.** Jane pulled a face at herself the second she sent the message. It sound positively presumptuous, and she hoped Maura's wouldn't be put off. _Maura._ It still sounded strange to her. She had just gotten used to calling her Doctor Isles.

 **Your mother didn't force me to come by the way – M**

Jane was absolutely sure Maura had just avoided the assumption that they would be texting frequently to each other.

 **You seemed very uncomfortable. I hope we were not too much. I was a bit too tired to entertain. I'm sorry - J**

Maura replied about 5 minutes later **I** _ **was**_ **uncomfortable. I always am in such situations I'm afraid – M**

 **Small gatherings? – J**

 **Well….gatherings in general – M**

 **I'm sorry – J** Jane quickly typed a second message again. **I was going to say I'm sorry I didn't know. But it's obvious I didn't know so…I'm sorry anyway. But thanks for at least coming; even though you knew u would b uncomfortable. And THANK U SOOOOOO MUCH for the gift. It was so thoughtful of u – J**

 **Don't mention it Jane – J.** Jane slumped on her pillow. Wondering what to type next. It was all so awkward, what with not knowing each other and all. She didn't wanna bore Maura, or disturb her. But somehow she still wanted to continue communicating with her.

 **Must have been the worst thirtieth 'birthday party' you have ever been to – J**

 **No it wasn't – M**

 **I can't imagine any party being worse that one in a small hospital room – J**

Maura didn't respond again for another five minutes

 **I haven't been to a lot of parties Jane. But if you must know, yours wasn't bad. In fact, I thought it was lovely. Your family and close friends gathered around you to celebrate your special day. It's very sweet of them to have gone to that trouble. I didn't do anything for my birthday - M**

 **Why didn't u do anything – J**

 **It was yesterday and I was working all day. By the time I got home I was exhausted – M**

 **OMG. Why didn't u say anything? – J.** Jane suddenly felt so bad. Why hadn't this woman done anything to celebrate? Something about Maura's message seemed sad.

 **We were there for you Jane. And besides, my birthday wasn't anything special like a thirtieth – M**

 **How old are you then, if u don't mind me asking – J.** Maura took a little longer to reply. Jane was impatiently turning her phone round and round in her hand, waiting for it to vibrate with a message from Maura.

 **I turned 31 – M.** Jane was surprised. She had thought the blonde was younger than her. Tops, Jane thought Maura was her age.

 **Wow, u look gr8 for 31 – J.** It was out before Jane could stop herself. _I think I better stop now before I say the wrong thing, Jane thought._

 **Thank you Jane – M**

Feeling severely self-conscious, Jane decided to call it a night. **I'll let u b then. Have a good night – J**

 **Have a good night as well. Take care – M.** Jane sighed, thinking that her attempt to talk to Maura had gone relatively well.

* * *

Maura took a nice long bath then settled in her queen sized bed after going through her nightly routine. She had spent the better part of the night wondering and wondering. Her thoughts kept going back to the little gathering she had been invited to. It had been nerve wrecking, but very interesting if she had to admit. She knew she must have come off as overly timid and downright weird. For someone who attended so many functions, she wondered why some gatherings still seemed to leave her reticent.

Everyone had been so wonderful to her, and for that she was grateful. And seeing how appreciative everyone had been to have Jane alive and well, Maura felt glad to have played a part in Jane's well-being. The guys had all seemed casual and chatty, as if they knew Maura a little bit already. None of them had asked explicitly personal questions, or made her feel unwelcome. Angela and Frank had both also embraced her as if she was one of Jane's acquaintances. The only person Maura was unsure of was Jane herself. The officer, in all her brunette glory, had sat in her bed looking a tad unattached to the whole event. Maura had convinced herself Jane didn't particularly want her there, despite the amount of times she had expressed her gratitude.

The big surprise of course had been when Maura received the text from Jane. She hadn't in her wildest dreams expected it. Caught unaware, Maura had been unsure of how to interact with Jane exactly, so she had suck to just answering the questions.

Lying in bed now, Maura scrolled through the message thread. _Had she really just told Jane that her birthday was yesterday?_ It hadn't even been necessary, so she didn't know why she had done it. And had Jane hinted to the idea of texting her again? Maura wasn't sure if she meant it.

Smiling, Maura read the second from last text from Jane, **wow, u look gr8 for 31.** She blushed in the dark, wondering why that confession gave her a sudden rush. Over the years Maura had gotten used to people flirting with her, women especially. Men seemed to quickly get turned off by her intelligence or her somewhat gory profession. But women, they just melted in her presence.

In the beginning, Maura never really used to notice when women flirted with her – she thought it was just them being nice. But then she'd met Gertrude, whom she had quickly become infatuated with. She was in med school together with the German girl, and the two had hit it off instantly. Gerty was the one who kept pointing out to Maura when people were flirting with her – until she eventually got the concept.

 _Was Jane flirting with me? Maura thought._ The idea made her almost open her email to send a message to Gerty, her ex. They still talked, even though it had been a solid five years since they had last seen each other.

Maura quickly scratched that thought, got comfortable in her bed, and went to sleep.

* * *

The sun was shining bright when Maura started waking up. She stretched her limbs and turned away from the bright light coming in through her lace curtains. Slowly she cracked one eye open, and then the other; looking up at the fan hanging from her ceiling. Just as she decided she was going to have a bit of a lie in, her mobile phone pinged from her side drawer indicating a text message had come in.

Reluctantly, she reached for it, hoping it wasn't work related – it was her Saturday off for crying out loud.

 **U know yesterday u said u hadn't been 2 a lot of parties. Well, the Doc said if alls good I'll be discharged by Wednesday. My mother wants to have a sort of welcome home gathering. Would u like to come? – J**

Maura rubbed her eyes and read the message again. ''What time is it?'' she asked herself, glancing at the time on her phone – 8:46 am. ''Oh gosh!'' she gasped. She hadn't slept in that late for ages.

She looked at the text from Jane again, sighing as she replied **Thank you Jane, but perhaps I should let you enjoy your time with your family – M.** She didn't want to seem rude, but Maura didn't think she would really want to go to the Rizzoli house and stand around looking out of place. The gesture was sweet, but she was determined to let it pass her.

 **Oh come on Maura. You said yesterday wasn't bad – J.** Maura was surprised at how quick Jane's response came.

 **You will have so much to do, and a lot to talk about. Yesterday was nice yes, but half the time I didn't really know what everybody was talking about. So perhaps I'll just pass. Thank you very much though for the invitation – M.**

When Maura didn't get a reply from Jane in about ten minutes, she decided to get out of bed and start her day. She figured she must have offended the officer, and was sure Jane wouldn't text her back anymore. Maura felt a tad defeated. Her intention wasn't to be rude or ungrateful. She just really didn't want to be lurking around like someone who didn't have a house to go to.

...

Reading Maura's text, Jane gained some clarity. Of course Maura wouldn't want to come. She didn't know anyone, and she didn't know what they were all talking about. There were all these inside jokes that the blonde didn't get, and thinking back to the previous day, Jane understood. They had joked and laughed about certain things leaving Maura expressionless because she didn't know what they were laughing about. In hindsight, Jane realised how selfish it was. She tried imagining herself being invited to one of her colleagues wife's party maybe. And being there knowing no one. And not understanding what people were talking about of laughing at. It would have been horrible. Which is exactly how Maura had felt the previous day and here Jane was asking the blonde to go through the same thing again.

No wonder Maura had declined.

But after chewing on her lip and twirling her hair for a little while, Jane decided she wouldn't just let go that easily. There was something about the pathologist that Jane couldn't put her finger on just yet. The brunette wanted to see her more, and to get to know her further. Jane knew there was more to Doctor Maura Isles than just a pretty face.

 **If you got to know everyone, would you reconsider my invitation – J.** Maura was utterly surprised. She had almost completely forgotten about Jane when the text came in. The blonde was in the middle of a supermarket aisle an hour later when Jane texted back.

 **I don't think I understand what you mean – M.** Maura slid her phone into her trousers pocket after replying and reached for the rye bread, being careful to check the expiration date.

 **Well I figured if we continued talking, I could tell you everything about everybody. And come next weekend, you won't be completely lost – J.** Maura smiled despite herself.

 **You couldn't possibly tell me everything about everybody within the space of a week – M.**

 **Hmm, that smells like a challenge – J.** _P_ _erhaps this could be interesting, the blonde mused._

 **If you insist Jane, but I can't promise to definitely be there – M**

 **That's alright. As long as u will at least talk to me a bit more until then – J.** Maura read the message then slipped the phone back into her pocket, continuing with her shopping. After some seconds it vibrated again. **Its better if we get to know each other now anyway, otherwise things will get a bit awkward later – J.** Maura seemed a bit confused after reading this message.

 **What do you mean? – M**

 **We have a spa day to enjoy together and a weekend trip to the Dominican Republic in December. Imagine how weird it would be if we didn't know each other at all – J.** Maura stopped dead in her tracks, almost causing the woman behind her to crash into her. _What?_ She hadn't the fainted idea what Jane was on about.

 **I don't think I understand Jane – M.** She typed out quickly now, suddenly very interested. She continued to stare at her screen waiting for a reply instead of slipping it into her pocket as she had done before.

 **I mean the birthday presents I got. We're going 2 have to share them Maura. Your birthday was on Thursday and u didn't do anything. We didn't get u anything. And I kinda owe u, u know, 4 saving my life and all. So I figured we could share the gifts. They are for 2 people already anyway. So we are all set – J.** Maura almost laughed. Surely Jane couldn't be serious.

 **There is no need for that Jane. They are your gifts and I can't accept any of them. Thank you, but really, enjoy them with your other half or your friend – M.** It dawned on Maura just after she sent that message that Jane didn't have another half. She remembered her conversation with Mrs Rizzoli in the hospital café, when the older woman had told Maura about Jane's recent break-up. Now Maura felt like a jerk having typed that out to Jane. And when Jane didn't reply immediately, Maura was sure she had proverbially thrown salt on open wounds. In a hasty attempt to right things with Jane, she frantically typed out another message **Actually, I would love to join you. As long as I get to at least contribute financially in some other way, because I wouldn't feel right just taking half of that experience from you and not offering anything in return – M.** That was probably the most impulsive thing Maura had ever done. December was at least a couple of months away. Would she even still feel like going? Would she and Jane even still be in contact?

 **You'd be offering your company – J.** The message drew Maura out of her musing, and left her completely speechless.

* * *

 **AN: With a bit of luck I'll have the next chapter posted in a couple of days. Thanks for reading...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rizzoli and Isles or make any money from this.**

 **Happy reading...**

* * *

 **If we could look into each others hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care - Marvin J Ashton**

Jane wasn't sure what had come over her. This sudden burst of confidence was so novel to her she was most certainly just as astonished as the next person. Her Saturday had come and gone just as quickly as it had started. She was starting to realise that she got incredibly worn out late in the evening, and had started something of a nap pattern around that time. Just like the previous day, Jane awoke late at night – the clock on the wall read 22:36. She let out an exasperated breath and reached for her mobile phone –

 **Do u sometimes feel like life is just passing u by – J.** The text was sent out to Maura. There was definitely something about that blonde. Jane felt an irresistible pull; she was completely powerless.

Maura had had a somewhat event-less day. After her shopping she went back home and did a bit of tidying up. She spent a couple of hours doing some conference calling with various associates of the Isles Foundation. After the mandatory paperwork was completed, signed off, and scanned to the appropriate people Maura sat down to watch the evening news. Weekends were always the loneliest she found. For some reason everything seemed still and all that could be heard was silence.

Jane's message came in while she was lying in bed reading her medical journal with a cup of tea. She briefly contemplated whether to be completely honest with Jane or change the subject altogether. **Yes I do sometimes feel like life is just passing me by – M.** If they were going to talk a lot more in the future, honesty and openness was obviously the best option.

 **I spent the whole day in this stupid hospital room trying to watch TV or read a book but everything just keeps pissing me off. I miss being outside, I miss working, or taking a nice bath, or just going into the freaking supermarket. This all sucks to hell – J.**

Maura was taken aback by Jane's sudden outburst. From the first message Maura had imagined that Jane was feeling bored or sad. But after the second text she could tell the officer was downright furious. Furious over her situation, and perhaps furious at herself. Maura really didn't know what to do.

 **I did something today that I'm not sure how to fix. Well it sort of seems irreversible in a way. It's been bothering me for hours now and I don't know what to do – M.**

And now it was Jane's turn to be surprised. She thought Maura was going to be like everyone else and start telling her that life was like that and that tragic things happen and that she should be grateful to still be alive. A lot of people came off as slightly patronising, and for this reason Jane had found it almost impossible to really speak to anyone about how she was feeling.

 **What did you do? Hope its not a crime or anything, because I'd have to arrest you – J**

Maura laughed. At least Jane had allowed the distraction. There had been several days in the past when Maura had longed for a person in her life that could just distract her on days when she was feeling purposeless.

 **No Jane, I regret to inform you that I haven't committed an offence. Sorry for taking the fun away from you *insert smiley face*. I was going through my recruitment files. I need to hire a new assistant. We strive for equality and during recruitment we normally just look at the candidate's resume without looking at their pictures. But for some reason today I went through the eleven files I had today looking at each candidates photograph. I feel awful because I'm already biased and I can't unseen everyone's face and start all over again – M**

Jane had to blink twice at the long message. And after reading it she realised she couldn't quite understand. Making herself more comfortable in bed, she sent Maura her email address – **its easier to text longer if I use my tablet. That's if you don't mind,** she finished off writing.

Maura then sent her email to Jane, **I don't mind at all – M**

 **Re: cont. from texting**

 **So what are you recruiting for? I didn't think that was part of your job description as a Pathologist.**

 **Jane**

Maura smiled after opening her email. In her haste to distract Jane she had completely forgotten that Jane had no idea about her life.

 **Re: The story of Maura Isles**

 **Its very refreshing I must say, meeting somebody who knows absolutely nothing about it. In fact, I cant ever remember that happening. Usually when I meet new people they're from work, and they always know somebody I know and I imagine they have their preconceptions about me and my life. The same applies to the people I meet through the Isles Foundations, they mostly know about my family background and so forth. When I texted you it slipped my conscience that you don't know me at all really.**

 **Well, you know I'm 31 and I'm a Pathologist at Massachusetts General Hospital. I live in Beacon Hill, by myself. Never been married, no children. I'm an only child. My parents have a foundation, The Isles Foundation, where I work as well. My assistant was working with me on a new project that my mother just started. It's a small art academy for beginning artists in New York. Now my assistant she has to relocate down south to help care for her ailing mother and I need somebody to take over. If I lived in New York I could have managed to handle it but I can't.**

 **So as I was saying before, I feel very biased in my selection process and I don't know what to do.**

 **Maura**

Jane read the email intently, feeling fascinated by the second as she soaked in all this information about the blonde. Looking at Maura, Jane wouldn't have thought she was the kind of person she was. She looked too pretty to be doing anything useful other than spending the day at the spa getting pampered. But as Jane learned more and more, she realised that it was true – never judge a book by its cover.

 **Re: The story of Maura Isles**

 **Something tells me I've been cheated. I can bet my life that the story of Maura Isles is at least two pages long, and here I got two paragraphs. But its ok anyway, if you'd told me everything, then you might have had to kill me.**

 **Don't beat yourself up too much about getting a new assistant. Even if you peeped at their photos, its fine. I'm sure they are all qualified anyway. Or you can just make it easy by choosing the hottest guy *insert winking smiley face***

 **Jane**

Maura laughed again, chewing on her bottom lip before finding the words to reply.

 **Re: The story of Maura Isles**

 **If I told you everything then I'd risk the chance of never hearing from you again. What else would I have to say to you that you wouldn't already know? You see!**

 **As for my situation, I suppose I'll just go with my intuition. Or perhaps choose the hottest girl *insert winking smiley face***

 **Maura**

Jane literally gasped. Did Maura just say _girl?_ Surely that couldn't mean shes gay. Perhaps that was her trying to be funny and oppose Jane since she had said guy. But it also could be the blondes way of saying she was into women.

''What does it even matter,'' Jane said to herself. '' _It wouldn't mean anything in terms of our budding relationship anyway, she thought. ''Should I just ask her?'' Jane thought further._

The brunette wasn't sure if it would be intrusive. Or if it even mattered. Maybe Maura would find it weird. Or she wouldn't be comfortable discussing her sexuality. What did it even matter anyway?

Jane was now getting nervous because the longer she took to reply the more it would seem to Maura that Jane was mulling over a lot of details.

 **Re: The story of Jane Rizzoli**

 **I'm 30 as you know. I have two younger brothers. Frankie, 28 and Tommy, 26. Tommy is in prison. He got 5 years without parole. He will be out in 2 years- hopefully. My mother drives me crazy. My dad's a plumber. I'm recently single, and live with my parents. How pathetic is that? Casey, my ex, is in the army and he went back to Afghanistan. Obviously everything else was more important than me.**

 **Jane**

Jane knew if she went on she was going to say the wrong thing. The subject of Casey was a sensitive one that Jane didn't want to get into at that particular moment.

 **Re: The story of Jane Rizzoli**

 **I have been cheated even more Jane. One paragraph is hardly enough for you to even tell me about your past 5 hours, let alone your life. But I'll take it for now, since you said we'll be in touch from now on. If you don't mind me saying Jane, being single and living with your parents doesn't make you pathetic. I don't know Casey, but if anyone was pathetic I would say it was him. If he found it worthwhile to leave you and go back to Afghanistan, shame on him. I'm sure he doesn't identify who** _ **you**_ **are. And him leaving now paves the way for you to meet a better suitor yourself. I'm sorry though, that you have to go through this without your partner at your side. I imagine it would have been easier on you if you were discharged to go back to your own house and to have someone you love tending to your every need. It doesn't help that this incident has happened too soon after your break up as well. I do apologize. I'm no comparison to your beloved Casey, but if you need anything that I can help with, please don't hesitate to tell me.**

 **Maura**

Whilst reading the email, Jane wondered if Maura had realised that her last sentence seemed a tad suggestive.

 **Re: The story of Jane Rizzoli**

 **Thanks for being very kind to me. I guess with a little bit more time I'll be completely over the whole Casey thing. Its kinda hard to get it out of my system now because everything reminds me of him leaving. Like the fact that I'll have to start looking for a place, and getting new stuff blah blah blah. It doesn't help that these past few weeks I've been in hospital, and only God knows how I'll feel with time you know. I'm a bit scared, but if you tell anyone I will deny I ever said it.**

 **Jane**

Maura had a feeling that Jane was a proud woman and would never want to be viewed as weak.

 **Re:**

 **Everything takes time as they all say, but I must admit that there are some things that can't be overcome even with all the time in world. I sincerely hope that this won't be the case with you.**

 **Unfortunately I don't know know anyone personally who's ever had the same health situation as you have, what I can only offer is most probably the same thing your doctor will tell you when you are discharged and at your future visits. I imagine the worst part will be dealing with it emotionally. Because you may find that you won't be able to be quite as physical as you were before. And I suppose you are going to feel very self conscious of the fact that you have a device implanted inside of you. And I don't think it will help that you will be able to see the bump and the scar. You will have to deal with the discomfort of having it at first, and perhaps the bit of weight it adds. It will also be challenging I'm sure, trying to be very aware of other electrical devices around you that might interfere with the pacemaker. And I certainly cant imagine you will enjoy the regular doctor appointments. There will also be smaller issues in between all the major issues, like having to wear a different kind of bra for better comfort, or no bra at all if you can manage. I'm sure you are scared Jane. And its normal. Because you are going to be wondering, on many occasions, whether its safe to be alone because you might have another cardiac arrest. Its hard Jane. And I'm really sorry that you have to go through this. Your family and friends will probably be just as worried as you are.**

 **I'm sorry that I don't have anything grand and wonderful to say to alleviate your concerns. What I know for sure, and can guarantee is that I will do whatever I can to help whenever and if ever you ask. Even if you don't ask, but if can still allow me to help, I will.**

 **Maura**

Jane felt teary. She didn't even know Maura but the blonde was being so incredibly nice to her. She appreciated the fact that Maura didn't bother sugar coating things and constantly telling her that she would be fine. Maura was there to give her facts, and to assure her that she would help – which is all Jane could ever ask for.

Choked up with emotion and unable to say anything else, Jane just said Good night to the blonde. After putting her tablet away and starring blankly at the ceiling she finally decided to have a shower. In the small shower room, Jane removed the nighty she had on and looked at her scar for the first time. She hadn't wanted to see it for days, fearing the worst. But after Maura's mention of it, she decided to see what things were like. The stitches were due to be removed Monday, when they had said they would confirm Jane's Tuesday discharge.

Near her collarbone, on the left side of her chest, was a red vertical line stitched up. It appeared to be healing well and was much smaller than she had imagined it would be. Jane cried, really really cried. She had been due for a good cry, and she now finally let it all out. It seemed like such a small thing she was going through, but it was in essence a life changing situation. Everything kept swimming around her head as she clutched onto the sink crying – her failed relationship, he career, her health, the stress she was unintentionally putting her loved ones through. There are moments when she felt like everything would be alright, but moments like the one she was having now were not one of them. At this point in time she just felt like she couldn't do it at all.

…

Jane's abrupt good-bye made Maura feel a little uneasy. The pathologist was sure being honest was a good idea, but was now doubting herself since Jane's departure. Had she made Jane's fears worsen, or was is her mild inference to her sexuality? She didn't know, and now she wished she could take it all back.

* * *

 **AN: Next chapter tomorrow night or Tuesday morning. Thanks for reading.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sometimes I'm terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts – Edgar Allan Poe**

* * *

 **Re: Sunday**

 **So you don't do anything at all on Sundays? Church? Meet up with friends? Nothing?**

 **Jane**

Maura laughed at how flabbergasted Jane seemed.

 **Re: Sunday**

 **Remember Jane, unlike you I don't have a big family to keep me company. And I don't really have friends per se, mainly acquaintances. My best friend is my ex and she lives all the way in Canada and I haven't even seen her for years. I prefer to just relax and reflect on my Sundays. A perfect Sunday for me would be waking up and making a lovely breakfast. Reading a little bit then spending some time in the hot tub, or doing some swimming, taking a short afternoon nap, watching a film, making dinner, doing yoga or meditating then going to bed.**

 **Sounds boring to you I'm sure. I've been told I'm weird so it's ok. *insert smiley face***

 **Other weekends I am in New York, or working at the hospital. So I take the quiet days when I can.**

 **Maura**

Jane almost choked on her cappuccino whilst reading Maura's email.

 **Re: Sunday**

 **You don't play fair. You threw SOOOO many things into that one email, how am I supposed to respond it all?**

 **Jane**

 **Re: Sunday**

 **One at a time, Officer Rizzoli. Haha.**

 **Maura**

Jane chuckled. There was one thing she was dying for, and that was to see how Maura's facial expressions changed as she said certain things. They had only been in each other's presence for a few hours and it was so hard for Jane to imagine how Maura spoke, or how she used hand gestures, if she did, or what her laugh was like, or all her different smiles. It was becoming increasing frustrating.

And there it was, Maura's confirmation of what Jane had been wondering about since yesterday – the pathologist's sexuality.

 **Re: Sunday**

 **Firstly, the whole sibling thing is overrated. We fight a lot. And because Tommy is such a trouble maker, before he was arrested most weekends were tense – parents fighting because of him and all that. I work some weekends as well. And when Casey was here we used to play sports together or meet up with some friends or something. Nothing too special anyway.**

 **Secondly, I don't think I really believe you when you say you have no friends. You are too wonderful to not have friends, unless you pushed them all away because you wanted alone time. Anyway, since I'm your friend now, I'll be sure not to crowd your space so I don't get pushed away as well *insert smiley face***

 **Thirdly – my perfect Sunday? Hmmmm. That would be a Sunday I spend in bed all day watching TV and eating. I'm a bit of a slob, I'll just warn you. Today would have been a perfect Sunday if I'd been home. Because I'm in bed eating and watching TV. But I wanna be in MY bed you see.**

 **Other Sundays we go to visit Tommy. Those are the worst, because I hate to see him locked up like that. I'm happy to see him, yet very sad because of the circumstances. And Ma cries the whole time, which makes it a million times worse.**

 **And lastly…..girlfriend huh? Am I allowed to ask questions?**

 **Jane**

 **Re: Sunday**

 **I'm impressed! You seemed to actually take my advice to tackle one thing at a time. If you don't mind my asking though, what was Tommy incarcerated for?**

 **Maura**

 **Re: Sunday**

 **He ran over a priest. The man survived thank God. Tommy's driving licence at the time was also expired so….**

 **And yes, I do take your advice Doctor Isles *insert winking smiley face***

 **Jane**

 **Re: Sunday**

 **I imagine you have made many plans for your following weekends. You were complaining yesterday about being stuck in there.**

 **Maura**

Jane had seen that Maura avoided the girlfriend topic, and she wasn't going to ask again.

 **Re: Sunday**

 **I haven't made any plans actually. Saturday is the get together, and Sunday I'll probably just be resting. And I have no clue what the next weeks will look like for me.**

 **Jane**

They spent the rest of the day chatting here and there about nothing of any major importance. Maura just told Jane more about her job and Jane did the same. They spoke a little about their respective colleagues and Maura told Jane about Bass.

...

On Monday, Jane got confirmation that she would be discharged on Tuesday. She was beside herself with joy. They spent the evening talking about it. And Angela spent quite a lot of time with Jane as well getting everything finalised and sorted.

Come Tuesday, Maura felt utterly gutted. She had employed Natalie, a married woman of 43 who had two children. This meant that Maura had to fly to New York for the weekend to get everything sorted out. The following Monday Natalie would have to begin shadowing the current assistant and getting in touch with everything else. The blonde knew Jane would think she was coming up with an excuse to avoid going to the Rizzoli's over the weekend.

 **Re: Sorry**

 **I sincerely hope you accept my apology. I have to leave for New York on Friday after work, meaning I cannot attend your welcome home party. I'm really really sorry.**

 **Maura**

From what she summarised from her messages with Maura, Jane knew the doctor was wealthy. The brunette was very conscious about it and made a lot of effort not mention anything in that regard. She wanted Maura as a friend, and her money didn't have anything to do with it. It frightened her a bit, that maybe Maura would think Jane was after that because of the way she had insisted on keeping in touch. The brunette was determined not to do or say anything that would make Maura question her intentions.

 **Re: Cool**

 **Don't worry about it Maura. It's a stupid party; you definitely need to attend to more important things.**

 **Jane**

The brunette heaved herself off the bed and stuffed a few of her belongings in a bag that were still lying around in the hospital room. She was waiting for her Dad to come and pick her up in about ten minutes if he was on time. She felt a little stupid. What would someone like Maura be wasting her time doing with a useless person like her anyway? She should have known better. She let herself get carried away and now she was pissed off with herself.

 **Re: Cool**

 **Please, don't say it like that Jane. You know I would have come if this hadn't needed immediate attention.**

 **Maura**

Maura felt awful, mainly because of Jane's choice of words. _''…you definitely need to attend to more important things''._ Those were almost the same words Jane had used in regards to Casey – that everything else had been more important to Casey than she was. Maura had only really known Jane for literally 5 days (though it felt much longer than that, and the time before the birthday party didn't really count), she didn't owe the brunette anything. But somehow something from deep inside her, a place she wasn't even quite familiar with, made Jane very special. It felt a bit ridiculous of her to contemplate cancelling the whole New York trip for just a few hours at the Rizzoli's. Had Jane suddenly become so important to her? Mind you she could easily walk across the street from the pathology department where she worked and go to see Jane before she went home, but she couldn't bring herself to do that either. She and Jane hadn't spoken about such visits, for whatever reason. And she was damn sure she wasn't going to just show up. Emailing Jane was one thing, but meeting her was another thing altogether.

Ten minutes passed and still Jane hadn't replied. The first feeling Maura could identify within herself was sadness. She knew for sure she wouldn't want to never speak to Jane again. It took her just a few seconds to realise that no matter how awkward it could potentially be, she wanted to see Jane. Without thinking any further she rushed out of her small office, hoping she would catch Jane before she left. It took her about ten minutes to get to the main entrance of the hospital.

''Could you please check if Jane Rizzoli has been discharged, Doctor Maura Isles,'' the blonde said breathlessly as she showed her badge to one of the women at the reception areas.

''Sure,'' typing slowly, the woman began to check. ''Yes, she was discharged five minutes ago''

''Thank you,'' Maura stood there for a few seconds wondering what to do next. She hadn't thought her plan through very well.

Walking out of the entrance she took her mobile phone out and rang Jane. The brunette answered just as Maura was about to hang up. ''Hello,'' Maura's heart skipped a beat at how sexily hoarse Jane's voice sounded.

''Where are you?'' She asked before even saying hello.

''Outside...waiting for my dad,'' Jane didn't understand why Maura wanted to know.

''Where exactly?'' The blonde's voice was much calmer now.

''Outside the main entrance to the left. There are some benches there where I'm sitting. Why-''

''I'm coming,'' Maura cut her off.

Before Jane could say anything the phone was disconnected.

Maura wasted no time rushing out and heading left as Jane had instructed. And just like the brunette said, Maura saw Jane sitting by the bench with a bag side her. The pathologist had to physically stop in order to centre herself. Hospital did nothing for the police officer sat on the bench. Outside in the cool October air, Jane was breath-taking. Her dishevelled long hair fell below her shoulders making its dark colour complement her tanned skinned. She sat in her jeans with a simple long sleeved t-shirt and jumper with her legs apart. Her left converse clad foot tapped impatiently on the ground as she rubbed her hands together. She was beautiful. That's the only way Maura could have ever described her.

Still trying to piece together her brief conversation with Maura, Jane looked around to see if the blonde was actually coming over. As it turned out, there wasn't much to wonder about, because when she turned her head she saw Maura, looking just as stunning as she had the first time Jane had seen her. She appeared slightly flushed as she came to a halt – hair being blown off her face by the wind. Jane hadn't ever seen anyone so gorgeous. Her previous anger and uncertainty about Maura's excuse was equally blown away by the light gust.

''Hey,'' Jane nervously waved at the blonde.

''Hey,'' Maura answered while approaching Jane.

The two looked at each, like one of those movie scenes where everything seems to stop for an inestimable amount of time.

''You have very beautiful eyes,'' Jane heard herself say. She hadn't noticed the last time they met. But as they were now - Jane sat on the bench with Maura towering over her, the brunette could clearly make out the unique hazel-like colour.

''Thank you,'' Maura blushed, looked everywhere but at Jane.

''I didn't expect to see,'' Jane told her casually, sitting back to glance at Maura fully.

''I needed to apologized Jane. I didn't mean to upset you. You seemed….disappointed and I just wanted you to know that I wasn't making an excuse not to come to your place, it's just that I really have to go to New York and if I could-''

''Hey, you don't owe me an explanation,'' Jane cut her off, a little too harshly. But when she caught the wounded look on Maura's face before the doctor looked away, Jane thought she could actually stand up and kick herself. ''I didn't mean it like that,'' she quickly stood up and grabbed Maura's elbow, nudging her to face her. ''I understand. It's really not a big deal. I don't know why I turned it into this whole big production,'' Jane gestured wildly, causing Maura to smile and look at her. ''I guess I was just really looking forward to seeing you.''

Again with the braveness. Jane was starting to scare herself. Her words and actions had become so unpredictable to her, she never really knew what she was going to do or say at the end of any conversation.

''But I guess it's cool now coz I've seen you,'' she finished off, rubbing the back of her neck nervously.

She immediately winced. Her doctor had warned her about raising her left hand up high so soon. She had forgotten and just realised now that it actually hurt a bit to do that.

''Are you ok?'' Maura said quickly, moving to take hold of Jane's other hand before thinking about it.

''Yeah, I just forgot I was warned not to raise my hand so high just yet,'' When Jane looked at Maura she saw the slight panic in her eyes as the blonde gazed at their joined hands. ''We've done a lot more than just hand holding you know,'' Jane went on to entwining their fingers together. ''We've kissed. Well technically _you_ kissed _me_ ,'' she chuckled.

Maura laughed out loud despite her apprehension. She had not expected that from Jane at all. ''Well I suppose I must apologize for taking advantage of you in your unconscious state''

They both immediately turned around at the loud honk. ''Hey Janie, we gotta hurry. Sorry I'm late,'' Frank called out from his car, effectively breaking the two women out of their happy bubble.

''I'm coming Pa,'' Jane groused, returning her eyes to the beautiful vision in front of her. ''What's that saying about 'do it to me I'll do it to you?''' Before Maura could even formulate an answer, Jane kissed her on the cheek and pulled her into a tight embrace for a few seconds before letting go. ''Thank you for saving my life, and for being a wonderful friend, and for coming to see me now. Don't bother yourself with the weekend ok?'' Maura only managed to nod her head. The brunette gave Maura's smaller fingers a final squeeze before grabbing her bag and walking over to her father, leaving an utterly awestruck Maura.

* * *

 **Someday someone is going to look at you with a light in their eyes you've never seen, they'll look at you like you're everything they've been looking for their entire life. Wait for it - Anon**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thank you guys loads for your follows, favourites, PM's and reviews. It really is the best motivator.**

* * *

Maura almost skipped back to her office. Going to see Jane had been the best decision she had made in ages. The rest of her day practically went by on auto pilot. If asked she would deny it, but the truth was that Maura had wondered several times about what it would be like to meet Jane again. She wondered whether there was a chance that they wouldn't have anything to say to each other face to face, or that they wouldn't connect the way they had through texting. But after her brief encounter with Jane, she was almost sure things would be just fine - minus the subtle flirting.

To say the kiss and hug from Jane were a surprise would be a vast understatement. Maura's mind kept drifting back to that moment. She felt like she was starting to obsess over Jane. Everything going through her mind was all Jane. The doctor quickly realised that this was similar to how she had felt the first days she met Gertie. Getting Jane out of her mind for a while was made harder by the fact that Jane was relentless with her emails and texts. The brunette wanted to know everything about Maura from the time she woke up to the time she went to bed. Maura found it incredibly touching that someone was interested in her enough to want to know what flavour of tea she had that morning.

After a smooth sailing day at work, Maura went home and the first thing she wanted to do was Skype her best friend.

Gertie's black hair was the first thing Maura noticed when the woman accepted her video call. ''Hey you,'' she flashed Maura a megawatt smile. ''Gosh it's been ages, what's keeping you busy?''

Gertrude spoke very quickly, it always made Maura laugh at how she appeared to be in a hurry every time. ''Hello Gertie''

''I miss you,'' the Canadian confessed solemnly.

''I miss you more,''

The two took a while to catch up since it had been a long time since their last Skype call. Gertrude told Maura all about her work and her fiancé, which wasn't news to Maura. The last time they spoke things between Gertie and Phil had been serious so Maura wasn't really surprised to learn they were now engaged.

''Sooooo, love on the horizon for you?'' the black haired women teased. Maura hesitated briefly, which Gertie did not miss. ''Oh my God! Who is it Maura,'' she shrilled.

''Oh come on Gert, there isn't anyone''

''Liar! I can see that blush on your face, and the way you won't look me in the eye anymore. Spit it out. Who is she?''

''What if it's a _he?_ '' Maura stalled.

''I'm the bisexual one here Maura. Stop trying to divert this conversation and tell me all about her''

''It's complicated''

''Really Maura? It's complicated?'' Gertie arched her eyebrows. ''You can do better than that darling''

''There isn't anything to say Gertie,'' Maura sighed. What could she say honestly?

''Ok fine, I'll ask the questions. What's her name?''

''It's not quite like that. The-''

''What's her name Maura?'' Gertrude insisted.

''Jane''

''Ooooh''

''Oh please,'' Maura blushed even deeper, covering her face with her hands like a little girl.

''Ok, what does she do?''

''She's a police officer.'' Maura didn't miss the uneasy face Gertie pulled. ''What?'' She almost spat.

''Hey, take it easy. I didn't say anything''

''You didn't _have_ to,'' Maura defended.

''Ok, where did you meet her?''

''I saved her life some weeks ago''

''I think you are going to have to just tell the story Maura.'' Gertie repositioned herself on the couch and looked intently at Maura waiting.

After Maura told her story Gertie sighed. ''I don't know Maura. It seems a bit fishy to me''

Maura had to laugh. ''Fishy?''

''Yes. I mean she's the one who initiated this _friendship_ right? I just…I don't know. I'd say give it some time''

''You must have misunderstood Gertie. _I'm_ the one who's interested in her, not the other way round. She's not into women anyway''

''Because of her ex-boyfriend? Honey, I was dating you before and now I'm engaged to a man. It's called bisexuality.''

''Stop being so condescending. You don't know Jane.'' Maura finished of dejectedly.

''No I don't. But I know _you_. And I love _you._ And I care about _you._ You've told Jane about your life Maura. What if she's just found an opportunity get in on the wealth?''

''Was that how it was with you when met?'' the blonde asked indignantly.

''Of course not!''

''So why are you quick to think it's the case with Jane?''

''Because it's been a short while and she seems to be coming on too strong. I would hate for you to be hurt.''

''How come you never thought of all of this when I was seeing Lena?''

''Because Lena was an associate attorney, and her parents where involved with the Isles Foundation. You knew her history and her family's-''

''So this is because Jane presumably comes from a non-wealthy family?''

''Noooo-''

''It sure seems like the case here,'' Maura spat. She was mostly hurt that Gertie would think such a thing about Jane. Her ex had no right to.

''It's not because I think she'd not wealthy Maura. You should know me better than that love. It's because the possibility that Lena would hurt you was very low. There was no reason really for her to take advantage of you, and she wouldn't even do it anyway because you were in the same circle.''

''Well look at us now,'' Maura snorted.

''That's because you weren't in love with her, not because she did anything. If you remember well, _you_ are the one who broke her heart''

'' _She_ broke up with me''

''Because you left her no choice honey. That's what you wanted and you drove her to end things.''

After a short silence, Maura looked back at the screen. ''I wasn't in love with her''

''I know Maura. That's one of the wonderful things about you darling. You wouldn't waste someone's time like that. And as much as I'm sure it hurt Lena at the time, she has moved on.'' Gertrude watched her ex for a little while, wishing she could get into Maura's head and see what the blonde was thinking.

''Jane kissed me this afternoon. On the cheek,'' Maura quickly added when she saw the shocked look on Gertrude's face. ''When I went to see her off,'' she further explained. ''I omitted that part because I didn't want you to judge me.'' Gertie waited patiently for Maura to say everything she wanted to say. ''There is something about her Gert. She gave me a hug and after she left I remained stood at that one spot for a good five minutes. It's been such a short time. An embarrassingly short time, but I know for sure that I'm starting to fall for her. She flirts sometimes, in a weird kind of way that at times I'm not even sure if she's flirting or not. There are some things people can put on for show Gertie, but the way she looks at me…I don't think that can be pretend. When I met her this afternoon, for no more than ten minutes, she looked at me and spoke to me like I was the most precious person in her life,'' Maura smiled, remembering every last detail of that afternoon. ''There's this pull I have towards her. Like an addictive need to just be in contact with her. At first I admit I was a bit sceptical. But as the days have gone by, I find that our messages are so natural. She could text me two hours after our last chat and we'll just go on as if we never stopped. She's on my mind _all the time._ I can practically imagine what she's doing at any given point. I'm going crazy aren't I?''

''I don't know Maura,'' Gertrude sighed. She'd been watching her ex-girlfriend talk and suddenly she felt like her initial assessment of Jane was slightly flawed.

''I don't know either. I may end up getting hurt because there is a _very_ good chance that Jane doesn't feel the same way. Or that its all new to her and she's experimenting on me''

''True. But it could also go in the right direction.'' It was starting to stress Maura, Gertie could see it. ''My advice is that perhaps you should go into it without any expectations. If Jane has expressed interest in being friends then great, expect _just_ that. I know it can be hard, especially in your case when you know already that you are falling for her. But establishing a good friendship base to begin with is a good idea''

''I don't remember us _establishing a good friendship base,_ '' Maura mocked lightly.

''Yes. And look at us now''

''That's only because we were at different points in our lives and we wanted very different things. Besides, we make better friends that we ever did lovers''

''The best of friends,'' Gertie smiled, blowing Maura an air kiss.

They say, if you can remain friends with your ex it's because you were never in love with her, or because you are still in love with her. In Gertie's case it was the latter, and in Maura's case the former. Gertrude would _never_ admit it to anyone, but she was still in love with Maura and she always would be. But after realizing that the blonde would never be in love with her, Gertie had to quickly make peace with it. Maura was a perfectionist when it came to her love life; she was the type to never settle. Luckily for Gertie she came to terms with it very quickly. Maura was going to break her heart if she had let things progress. So after dating for a year and half, they split up. Maura took it well seeing that she obviously was not completely in love with Gertie. The slightly older black haired woman was crushed to bits, and spend a lot of time travelling back and forth to Canada in an attempt to heal her broken heart. When it became clear to her that healing was never going to completely happen, she decided to move away. Distance from Maura was all that was going to help. And it did – a great deal. Now she was with Phil, who she loved very much as well, so everything was fine. Gertrude only hoped that Maura would find that person who made her weak at the knees for the rest of her life. Because she loved Maura, and seeing anyone less than worthy of her be with Maura was unacceptable.

They eventually wrapped up their conversation, with Gertie vehemently warning Maura to be careful.

...

If Maura was thinking straight she would have heeded Gertrude's advice a bit more, but when it came to Jane she couldn't help herself it seemed. She went straight to texting Jane:

 **I hope your first day back at home is going well. I think I'm going to watch a television programme then head to bed. What are you up to? – M**

A minute later. **Hey. Everything is fine so far. It felt really good to take a nice long bath. I'm tired of Ma fussing over me. I could do with watching something in my room alone as well. What are you going to watch? – J**

 **There is a documentary on penguins that I'm really looking forward to watching – M**

 **You're joking right – J**

 **No. Why would I be joking? They are really fascinating creatures Jane – M**

After a short while Jane texted back **Ok. What channel is it on? If it sucks you owe me – J**

 **I'm sure you'll enjoy it Jane. if not, then I guess I'll owe you. What will I owe though? Just so I'm prepared – M**

 **You'll have to leave that up 2 me. I'll figure out what I'll want when the time comes – J**

 **What if it's something I can't give you, or I can't do? – M** Maura found herself feeling irrationally worried.

 **Easy there Doc. I wouldn't put u in such a position. Seems your penguin programme is starting – J**

 **OUR penguin programme. You're watching it with me remember – M**

 **How can I forget? I can see a funny creature running around my screen already – J**

They watched the programme separately for an hour without communication. Jane could not believe that she had been so enthralled with the documentary. She hadn't moved at all for the past hour. And in the end she found herself wiping away a tear of joy.

Penguins were sweet. They protected their little ones like nothing she had seen before. They lived in this icy cold place but they still managed to create ways to keep themselves and their young warm. Both parents took an active role looking after their child, and at one point one little penguin had almost been stolen by some mothers that didn't have their own kids.

At the end, the little penguins that had all grown up were finally left by their parents and they had to fend for themselves. It was such a touching documentary, the first Jane had ever seen if she was honest.

 **U owe me – J** She texted Maura just as the credits rolled.

 **You didn't like it? – M**

 **I'm kidding. It was actually really interesting. But if you tell anyone that I got emotional over penguins I'll kill you – J**

 **Lol – M**

Jane could instantly imagine Maura laughing. That sweet voice of hers as she tilted her head forward, before straightening up and tucking some hair behind her ear. The brunette had no idea what was going on with her life. She had never felt this way about another woman, despite contrary belief. In high school and in the academy she'd had a few crushes, nothing to worry about really. And in all honesty, she hadn't thought much about it – didn't all girls have crushes on other girls sometimes? To her it felt fine; it was nothing to worry about. But with this blonde who had just come into her life it was completely different. It didn't seem like just a fleeting crush. Did people still have crazy little fleeting girl crushes at 30? Now _that,_ she wasn't sure of. And unlike the previous times in her life, it was starting to bother her. She didn't want to just sit next to Maura or just hold her hand or just go to the movies with her. She wanted _more_. What more was, she wasn't sure. The only way she could describe it was by saying she wanted the same thing she had with Casey, with Maura. But she wasn't sure how to go about it. Maura had clearly been with women before and she hadn't. It was all very confusing.

What she was a hundred percent sure of at the moment though, was that she wanted to see a lot more of Maura.

 **So uhh…..next weekend will you be free – J**

 **I think so, why? – M**

 **If you are busy that's fine. You don't have to worry about it – J**

 **You haven't said what you have in mind Jane – M**

 **Right, I was wondering if perhaps you wanted to do that Spa thing – J** Jane nervously tossed and turned, wondering if she was putting too much pressure on Maura. The doctor was clearly a very busy and important person.

 **I didn't know you were still planning on doing that with me – M**

 **Maura, I told you before, I am definitely sharing these gifts with you – J**

 **So you're plan on taking me to the Dominican Republic in December as well? – M**

Jane could so clearly hear the incredulity in that text. **Of course. Unless you absolutely don't want to come – J**

 **I would love to Jane, but I wouldn't want to take that opportunity away from one of your closest friends. I wouldn't want you to feel as though you have no other option but to go with me – M**

 **I take back my earlier statement. That documentary sucked and now u owe me – J**

 **So we're going for bribery now are we? Lol – M**

 **You aren't leaving me much of choice – J**

 **Why don't we talk about this when we meet huh – M**

 **No worries then. I'll be going to sleep soon anyway – J**

 **Me too. Have a good night Jane – M**

 **Night night *insert kiss smiley face* - J**

Looking at the kissy face from Jane, Maura figured it was the best time to bring up the little afternoon kiss. But she didn't know how. She wasn't sure what witty come back she had for that – something that wouldn't sound desperate and awkward.

Nothing came to mind. She'd have to wait for another opportunity to arise. She had never been one for wit anyway.

* * *

 **''Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down'' - Socrates**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rizzoli and Isles.**

* * *

The rest of the week cruised faster than Jane had ever seen. With Angela hovering over her and Frank dotting on her, it was truly a wonder how things seemed to move quite so quickly. Despite feeling like a child, Jane was secretly enjoying some down-time. Perhaps that cardiac arrest was an eye opener after all. Jane would be the first to admit that she never relaxed. The brunette had been on the go since starting at the police academy. She had this inherent need to prove herself, this need to show that she was somewhat invincible. So much so that along the way she had actually forgotten that she was human and ended up pushing herself too hard. The way she worked relentlessly and the stress from her split up with Casey had finally come together and combusted in the form of a cardiac arrest. Things could have been worse if this hadn't happened.

Being off sick had allowed her the chance to spend time with her family and friends and not worry about work. She had episodes here and there of boredom and uselessness but she never quite had the chance to wallow in it with everyone milling around her.

Every night she and Maura would watch a documentary and then talk about it afterwards. Jane was surprised at how much she had actually learned in that short space of time. It was like there was this whole other world she had never been privy to before. Her unadulterated need for justice in Boston had virtually closed her off to a lot of other things out there. Sure she was involved in sports and watched a lot of TV and what not, but thoughts about the largest animal in the world (the blue whale) had never crossed her mind. Or about one of the poorest villages in Chad called Mongo. Or about the burden of genetic disorders in India. The last documentary she had seen about 'the tree man' left her feeling physically sick. Maura had literally opened her up to a whole new world.

As it was, Friday had come and gone and the blonde in question and flown off to New York. Jane felt a little empty, which was weird given that they still communicated the same way.

 _ **I don't know why I feel like you're going off to some faraway place and I'm never gonna see u again – J**_ Jane had texted this to Maura the previous day as the pathologist had been waiting to board the plan.

 _ **I'll still text or email you just like we have been all this time Jane – M**_ Maura had assured her.

 _ **I know. I guess all these days there was that certainty that I could see u anytime if we decided to. But with u being all the way in NY it's pretty obvious I won't be able to see u at all – J**_

They hadn't spoken till late at night on Friday because Maura had gotten straight to business upon arriving in New York. And then she'd attended a function in the evening before retiring to her New York condo.

Come Saturday, Maura had been just as busy. Jane didn't want to seem clingy so she tried her best to leave the blonde to her business without being much of bother.

...

''She's in New York huh,'' Frost said in a somewhat awed toned.

''Yeah. Some business she has to take care of there,'' Jane quickly brushed it off. It was easier to sort of not feel Maura's absence so much that Sunday, what with the get together and everything.

The rest of the day went by well. Jane was getting used to her pacemaker and to having a necklace around her neck always. Well that last bit was the easiest part anyway. It was from Maura, and it was absolutely beautiful, so why wouldn't she want to wear it always?

 **I hope you enjoyed having your family and friends around today Jane – M**

Jane was surprised by the text from Maura. She hadn't thought she'd hear from the blonde till much later at night. **It's sort of been just the same as this past week, except today every1 was around** **at the same time. During the week they all popped in at various times thru out the day – J**

 **Well I'm glad it went well nonetheless. I just walked in and I desperately need to charge my phone. I'll be off to bed early tonight, I'm exhausted – M**

Jane glanced at the time – 20:27 it read. **Glad you had a safe journey back. Have a good night hey. Talk to u tmrw – J**

Maura sighed, wincing as she got out of her high heeled shoes. It had had a very busy weekend and all she wanted to do was go to sleep. She was glad that everything had been sorted in New York and that her new assistant was very capable and had gotten the hang of things pretty quickly. It saved her having to return to New York the following weekend again – a weekend which she had reserved for Jane.

During the course of the week Maura and Jane continued their regular correspondence. The plan set in motion was that they would indulge in their spa day on Saturday, and then enjoy a nice dinner. Jane was almost vibrating with excitement; she hadn't done anything interesting since leaving hospital. When Maura had confidently stated that she would be available on Saturday Jane had been beside herself with joy. Now….if only the days could move quicker.

* * *

 **You wanna meet there or shall I come to pick u up – J** Jane was asking on the Saturday morning because over the week they had been so wrapped up in the bliss of seeing each other they hadn't discussed the particulars.

Maura's immediate response was that she would go to pick Jane up. But after typing the message out she realised that Jane might not been too happy with being undermined. If Maura knew anything about Jane it was that the officer hated being made to feel like an invalid. **I wouldn't mind being picked up – M**

Jane smiled. She and Maura had been flirty right from the beginning. At times Jane thought Maura didn't realise it, but other times it seemed as if the blonde was being deliberate with her words. In any case, it was all very hard to dissect via texts and emails. Saturday was going to be a very good day to test the waters properly.

 **Great. So I'll see u at 12. Don't forget to text me ur address – J**

At just five minutes after noon Jane found herself pulling up into Maura's drive way. The brunette whistled as she took in the magnificent property. Jane couldn't believe that Maura lived alone in the massive two story house. The front yard was perfectly landscaped and through the opened garage Jane could see a black Mercedes and a silver Range Rover.

The insecurities started sipping right through. She had vowed not to make the whole class difference between her and Maura a big deal, but it was so much harder now she could tell. Through texts it was easier to ignore and brush off, but now, looking at Maura's large home and fancy cars it made it so glaringly obvious they were two very different people.

She shifted in her police cruiser uncomfortably as she sent Maura a text telling her she was outside.

The blonde didn't reply but just made an appearance half a minute later. And just as Jane had expected, she looked glorious. It was rather cold for November so Maura was wearing black leather pants with heeled brown ankle boots, and a black jacket over her burgundy sweater.

''Hey,'' Jane tried to sound calm and collected as she exited her car to greet Maura.

''So we meet,'' Maura announced with a smile as she accepted Jane's hug – which lasted longer than a normal greeting hug should.

''So we meet,'' she repeated. ''You look…great,'' Jane added, rushing to open the door for Maura.

''Thank you Jane,'' the doctor said smiling at Jane's chivalry nature that she was experiencing for the first time. Suddenly it felt like a date. Which was a bit weird since it was a bright Saturday afternoon and they were going to the spa. ''You look great too''

Jane snorted lowly, glancing down at her own flat black ankle boots and blue jeans – topped off with a simple sweater.

''Your house is amazing,'' Jane said as they drove off, not wanting to allow an awkward silence to fill them.

''I'm sorry I didn't invite you in. I figured we had to get going, but its fine we can always come back later for dinner or even another day whe-''

''Maura!'' Jane stopped her, cracking up with laughter. ''I wasn't trying to say you should have invited me in.''

''Oh''

''I was just commenting on how beautiful your place is.''

Maura tried fruitlessly to hide her deep blush. Her anxiety had set her off in the wrong direction once again.

''So….where are we going?'' Maura queried. She had asked the brunette several times and Jane kept telling her that it was a surprise.

''Well I suppose _now_ I can tell you, since we are a few minutes away''

Maura discreetly stole glances at Jane as the brunette navigated her way through traffic. There were glimpses of confidence and insecurity she saw. Maura could see Jane's nerves and coolness both vying for release. The brunette was obviously trying so hard to say something to fill the silence to the point that she ended up saying nothing at all.

The day was young; they would probably get over their jitters soon.

The two arrived at the hotel before Jane could say where they were going – and from the looks of it, a very posh hotel. Jane wondered how much the guys had pulled together to get her a spa day there. It was proper posh, and Jane wanted to kick herself at the fact that she was only there for the spa – no fancy hotel dinning or even a room for the night. It was so posh to the extent that Jane wanted to actually leave and do something else. This wasn't her. The cars driving up to the entrance were jaguars and bentley's and mercs. She had no business being there at all.

Begrudgingly, she pulled up at the valet, ''Welcome to Mandarin Oriental Boston,'' the man said enthusiastically, opening the door for the ladies. Jane tossed her keys mumbling something as she guided Maura inside quickly.

''Oh this is marvellous Jane. I've never been here before,'' Maura commented delightfully, completely oblivious to Jane's discomfort.

The brunette was wondering how she was going to approach the front desk and give them her stupid gift card. It was honestly one of the most humiliating things she had ever experienced.

''I don't know about this Maura…'' she started to say, resolute in the decision that she didn't want to partake in any of this fancy stuff. She would just give the voucher to Maura and the blonde could come alone whenever she pleased.

''OH MY GOD, is that Maura Isles?'' a loud shriek interrupted what she was about to say.

Maura squinted her eyes a little as she tried to put a name to the face ''Susie Chang?''

''Wow,'' the Asian lady said bouncing off from behind the counter into Maura's arms. ''What happened to you? I never heard from you or saw you since med school''

''Life I guess. I do apologize,'' Maura blushed. Susie was one of girls that Gertie had warned Maura were flirting with her all the time. ''This is…my friend Jane,'' she faltered a little, hoping it went unnoticed.

''Nice to meet you Jane,'' Susie put her hand out to the brunette, not looking the least bit pleased to meet her.

''Nice to meet you too Susie,'' Jane replied equally unpleased.

''So what are you doing here?'' Maura questioned.

''Big surprise huh,'' the small woman laughed. ''After med school i just felt like I didn't want to really do that kind of thing anymore. Which is crazy and stupid especially after spending that much time and money, but….i don't know. Doing those rotations just kept validating the fact that it wasn't something I wanted to do my whole life''

''So you starting working at this hotel?'' Maura didn't mean it to sound quite as judgmental but it did.

Jane couldn't contain her laugh. She didn't like Susie and the small dig left her feeling a little satisfied that maybe Maura didn't think much about the woman in front of them.

''Well long story short; I got into homeopathy and massage therapy and all that sort of stuff. So when I travelled back home to Taiwan I started working at Mandarin Oriental there. After the years, and the promotions, I decided to come back to Boston. I'm now the assistant Spa Experience designer for all our hotels in America''

Jane's mouth was agape.

''Oh wow Susie. That's absolutely marvellous. You did so well for yourself''

''Thank you Maura. It means a lot coming from you,'' Susie lightly brushed Maura's shoulders, causing Jane to internally seethe with jealousy.

''Oh stop,'' Maura couldn't help her blush.

''Seriously. I looked up to you you know. You were so unbelievably smart and focused. My hope was to be just like you.'' A very awkward short silence descended upon them before Susie spoke again. ''So what brings you two here?''

Jane wished the ground below her would open up and swallow her whole. These two women had done so well for themselves, and here she was, just a regular police officer. Never in her life had her occupation been more embarrassing than now.

''We are here for a Spa day actually''

''Oh that's wonderful,'' Susie smiled, leading them to the reception desk.

''We have uhh…..a gift card. Birthday present and all,'' Jane's hoarse voice broke through.

''Nonsense,'' Susie waved her hand. ''Your day is on us. I'll handle that'' The petite woman quickly typed away on her key board. ''Are you spending the night?''

''NO!'' Both Maura and Jane said forcefully. ''That won't be necessary,'' Maura gently supplied.

''Well I don't know Maura,'' Susie shook her head glancing at the large clock on the wall. ''By the time you have a manicure and pedicure, then have your facials, and then a full body massage. Not to mention lunch _and_ dinner. And you could go for a swim if you like, or enjoy the hot-tub. Surely you would need ample time you two,'' she looked suggestively at both of them.

''Really, we won't need a room,'' Jane said it in such a way that left no room for argument.

''Very well then,'' Susie said tapping away. When she was done she collected the paper she had just printed out together with hotel door cards. ''This is just an itinerary for your stay, with a map at the back side to direct you. There is staff everywhere anyway if you need any help. I really have to run, I'll see you later ok,'' She quickly hugged Maura and set off into a room from a door behind her.

The other woman at the desk just politely smiled at them as she went about her business.

Jane couldn't hold the gasp the escaped her mouth as she read the paper Susie had left them with. They were booked for:

Lunch 12:00 – 14:00

Nail salon 14:00 – 16:00

Facials 16:00 – 18:00

Dinner 18:00 – 20:00

Body massage 20:00 – 21:00

Use of swimming facilities including hot-tub

Executive suite Room 5, eighth floor (check-out : Sunday 12pm)

* * *

 **AN: Hmmmm, things are going to get interesting I think. Any suggestions from y'all?**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I had a messed up week, sorry guys. I'm back now, so regular quick updates. I don't have the right words to say thank you for all your wonderful reviews and PM's, they are greatly appreciated.**

* * *

''We can't accept this,'' Jane said almost painfully. ''It's not necessary''

Maura failed to notice how utterly distraught Jane was over the situation; the blonde was on cloud nice, mind reeling from the imminent bliss awaiting her. ''Of course we can Jane, it's a gift''

''It's too much''

Maura turned to face Jane fully, scrutinising her carefully, ''It's just a gift from a friend for the night''

''It's a gift for _you_ '' Jane argued. ''She doesn't even know me''

Maura smiled- a kind of wicked smile in Jane's opinion. ''If I remember well, which I do, the reason I'm here to begin with is because you were adamant that we share _your_ birthday gift. I _specifically_ remember telling you that I couldn't do it and that it wasn't necessary. And I alsoremember you saying something along the lines of 'I'd enjoy your company'''

When Maura realised that Jane was lacking a response she continued, pleadingly, ''I could really use the weekend to unwind. I haven't had a facial in a long time and my nails definitely need to be attended to,'' Maura pouted a little looking at her almost perfectly manicured nails. Jane wondered how she was going to pull out her horrifying nails for the world to see. They had never been manicured before, ever – no exaggeration. ''Please Jane. Offer me _your_ company, as a belated birthday gift to me. And I'll return it in kind when we travel to the Dominican Republic''

''Why does this sound like blackmail,'' Jane laughed nervously, placing one hand in the back pocket of her jeans.

''No its not. It's just…you know…a favour for a favour''

''A favour for a favour?'' Jane laughed.

And before the brunette could say anything else Maura quickly interrupted. ''Why don't we talk about this over lunch?'' She knew she had won the battle anyway from the look on Jane's face.

...

The pair made it over to the restaurant area where they both ordered their meal. ''We didn't bring anything with us,'' Jane broke the silence first.

Maura appeared a little confused before realisation dawned. ''Oh right, I guess I was too excited I completely forgot about that. But no need to worry anyway, I could make some arrangements''

''You sound like a mob boss, _'make some arrangements'_ '' Jane mimicked. And they both laughed.

''Let me get a delivery brought over to us,'' Maura said as she quickly typed away on her phone.

''You know, other people would just go a few blocks down and pick up what they need''

''I think _other people_ would come here prepared,'' Maura joked. And she was thrilled when Jane broke out in laughter. ''It's not often that I make people laugh you know''

Jane contemplated this briefly before answering, ''I think you're really funny at times, but people need to _get_ you in order to find you hilarious''

''People never do,'' Maura replied solemnly.

''Their loss,'' came a triumphant response. That very second their food arrived. Maura was having a smoked salmon salad and potato croquettes while Jane had shrimp pasta.

''You know I've never done all that stuff,'' Jane confessed to Maura, feeling so ashamed she could die. ''Maybe just a short massage once but…''

''I thought you might have since your friends decided to give you a Spa day voucher''

''They probably figured I needed to get up to speed.'' The two were waiting for their desserts now- chocolate orange cake and ice-cream.

''Well it's not everyone's cup of tea I suppose. I hope you'll enjoy it.''

''I'm sure I will'' A complete lie. Jane was sure she would hate it, and embarrass herself in front of Maura while at it. By tomorrow, whatever she thought she _had_ or _could have_ with Maura would be a thing of the past, so much so that she briefly wondered who she'd take with her for baseball in December.

A low ping indicated that Maura had received a text message ''Oh, our things are on their way,'' she told Jane.

Wide eyed Jane replied, ''Already?''

''Emily is as reliable and efficient as they come''

''They…''

''She's…I don't know, my…helper,'' Maura blushed furiously. She could actually hear how snobbish and vain she sounded. Quickly, she started to justify herself, ''Jane, it's just that at times I'm away for a long time and I need someone to help with my home. You know, cleaning and the like. Other times my Parents visit and I may be busy at work so Emily does the shopping and prepares food and the guest room for them. And Bass needs attending to if I'm not around as well, not to mention-''

''Maura,'' Jane stopped her by placing her hand over Maura's across the table. ''You don't need to justify yourself to me''

''I just realised how that may seem to other people when spoken out loud'' Jane wanted to say 'other people like me? People who aren't from wealthy backgrounds?', but when Maura continued to speak, she was so relieved that she hadn't said anything ''Jane, I don't really have a lot of people in my life. I don't have family or close friends who I can rely on…like you do. If I can't do something myself, there won't be anyone showing up to help me or give me a hand''

Jane hadn't looked at it from that perspective at all.

''You know all those times you tell me how your mother has prepared dinner for you, or how your brother helped you move, I just think of how lucky you are. No one makes a meal for me, unless I ask Emily to, and it's a job which she gets paid for. No one helps me with anything, just for the sake of it. If anyone is helping me with anything it's because they have to and they are being paid for it''

''Maura I'm-''

''Don't say you're sorry Jane,'' Maura smiled pulling her hand from under Jane's and putting it on top of Jane's instead. ''I haven't known anything else, so it's not like I'm missing out on something.'' Jane wanted to ask about Maura's previous relationships and about whether her partners hadn't done much for her, but she decided against it. It wasn't as if it was going to help anything.

''I've got a proposal for you,'' when Maura was about to object Jane quickly carried on, ''I get to make you three meals each week''

''Ja-''

''You can pick which days and which meals. Breakfast, lunch or dinner. Your pick''

''You don't have to do that Jane''

''No I don't, but I'd like to''

''Would I have to pay you,'' Maura asked a moment later, with a naughty smile pasted to her face.

''Hmm,'' Jane thought. ''Yes you would, but not money wise''

''Deal,'' the blonde said shaking Jane's hand. There it was, that mild flirting game they played.

''You don't even know how I'll want to be paid,'' Jane chuckled.

''I'm sure I'll be able to reimburse you Jane, whatever it was that you wanted,'' the last word came out in a long drawl, very suggestive, causing Jane to almost shiver at the possibilities. They had shifted from a slightly sad topic to a slightly erotic one – Jane felt a bit dizzy. Maura on the other hand, seemed to be enjoying every bit of it. The blonde had her moments of insecurities and what not, but she also had her mischievous Maura moments. Jane decided she liked those the most.

...

''Sooo, what now?'' Jane asked once they were completely done eating.

''Shall we do nails and facials then check out the place after?''

''Yap''

So they headed upstairs to the Spa & Wellness floor, which to Jane's pleasure wasn't too busy. Inside the nail parlour, the pair got their toes and nails done. Jane didn't end up feeling as embarrassed as she assumed. The ladies treating them were very friendly and welcoming; the brunette ended up actually enjoying it.

''Not bad,'' Jane commented, admiring her neutrally coloured nails.

''Shall we make this a regular thing officer?'' the Asian woman in front of her teased.

''Don't push it. Baby steps hey,'' they all laughed. Maura enjoyed the fact that Jane was coming out of her shell and becoming the woman she had gotten to know via texts and emails. It took some time for Jane to get comfortable, Maura was learning, but once she got there there was no turning back.

''Why don't we do the facial thing together with the massage later,'' Jane suggested.

''Are you sure?'' Maura stopped in her tracks as they were making their way out.

''Well we're gonna lie down and do one thing then get up and go, and then come back and lie down again for something else. Might as well just do it once''

''Understandable,'' Maura said. ''You can imagine all that effort of lying down and then lying down again – quiet exhausting.'' When Jane caught on the joke she laughed out loud.

''You're quite the joker aren't you''

''Not really,'' Maura said, feeling a little smug. ''You just make it possible for me to find something amusing to say.''

The two headed off to the eighth floor to their room. Jane gasped as soon as Maura opened the door - the room was sublime.

''Wow''

''It's lovely,'' Maura said nonchalantly, she was either really used to it or had seen better. ''I hope we have everything we need,'' Maura went straight to the shopping bags placed on the table.

Jane gave herself a tour: inside the room was a king size bed with a television on the wall in front of it. There was a couch and a table on the other side, as well as a desk with two chairs. While Maura continued to fuss over the shopping Jane peered outside, watching as Bostonians went about their business. Briefly, she wondered if any of them were experiencing the life changing events that she was. A month ago, she wouldn't have ever thought that she would be in such a hotel with a painfully gorgeous woman after having survived a life threating ordeal. It was definitely soap opera material.

As Maura rapidly pulled off tags from the clothes and arranged them in some sort of order Jane headed towards the closed door. Once opened Jane gasped again. There was a dressing room with two full length mirrors and a walk-in closet with ample space to hang clothes and a stool to sit on. A door from this dressing room led to the bathroom, which was the highlight of the room for Jane. No wonder it was hidden. There was a separate tub and shower that just begged to be used.

''Jane,'' she heard Maura's voice clearer as the blonde joined her.

''This is really cool,'' Maura tried to share Jane's enthusiasm so that she wouldn't make the brunette feel bad. In all honesty, the pathologist couldn't care less about the suite as a whole. Her place in Beacon Hill housed almost the same facilities, not to mention her penthouse in New York or her parent's villas abroad. What Maura found really 'cool' was Jane herself. Maura was mesmerised by the delight shinning on Jane's features. Maura was excited about being in Jane's company, not about the king size bed or plush pillows. Maura was absolutely one hundred percent sure she would be just as happy if she was in 'Motel 6', as long as she was there with Jane.

''I think I'm gonna have a nice hot bath,'' she almost jumped with excitement.

''I think I'll have one too…after you of course,'' Maura tripped over her words as she hastily tried to right her sentence.

It surprised them both how at times they could be so comfortable flirting, and how other times it became suffocatingly uncomfortable – ie. Now.

''So…uh, ''Maura stammered ''Emily brought us some things.'' She wanted to kick herself. _Uhh, DUH! They had established that already hadn't they?_

''Yeah, I figured,'' Jane smirked.

Quickly rushing out of the bathroom, Maura hurried to find stable ground. _Damn bathroom. What the heck kind of energy was that?_ Maura made a mental note never to be in the bathroom at the same time as Jane under any circumstance.

''Emily got us clothes to change into for dinner, and something to wear tomorrow. Oh and bathing suits if we decide to go swimming or to use the hot tube,'' Maura tried very hard to hide her blush.

''Gosh that's a lot of stuff,'' Jane remarked as she finally took stock over everything splayed out on the bed.

''Well…''

''Thanks Maur,'' Jane cut her off, moving towards the blonde and catching her unaware as she pulled her into a hug. Maura melted into Jane. _Did she really have a choice?_ When Jane let go she pulled Maura towards the window, so they could both look out. It was one of those times when things just happened of their own accord and neither of them could explain it. ''I was wondering a moment ago of what things would be like if you hadn't saved my life,'' Jane pulled Maura against her body again, hugging her with one hand as they both looked onto the Boston streets. ''My family would have been a mess Maura. I don't think Ma would have ever recovered from it. She already feels like she's lot a child with Tommy being in jail. It would have torn her apart. I've been so reflective ever since I got back home. I mean, all I seem to do is think and think, and I can't seem to get any answers''

''What are your questions?'' Maura asked in an almost whisper. Standing that close to Jane was too distracting. She was trying so hard not to concentrate on the feel of Jane's breast against her own, or Jane's arm around her waist.

''I know life isn't guaranteed. But I feel like I want to try to do something that would at least increase my odds. Like a safer Job. And it kills me to even say this because my career is my life. I haven't even achieved what I want. I want to be a homicide detective, and I'm _this_ close Maura,'' she demonstrated by bringing her forefinger and thumb closer together.

''I don't think your career is your life if you are considering leaving it. If it was your life, a change wouldn't even be an option. Your _family_ is your life, because you are willing to give up everything for them''

''What if I give it all up and I end up falling over in a supermarket and dying of another heart attack''

Maura's heart leapt into her throat. The mere thought of Jane dying made her almost want to throw up. She didn't want to hear it or think about it. She had just got this woman in her life, Jane couldn't leave her. ''Please don't speak like that,'' any thought of any kind of sensuality going on between them now went flying out the window. All Maura could feel now was the comfort of Jane's body beside her, and the heartbeat that reminded her that Jane was very much alive.

''I'm afraid that I won't find anything that I actually love. And then I'm going to end up feeling as useless as I do now. And I'll just start hating myself.''

''It will take you some time to find something else you love Jane, because it's a very big decision to make. What about going back to work as soon as you are cleared to, and then thinking about it over time''

''I don't _want_ to go back to work,'' Jane admitted. Her shoulders sagged, indicating that she had just uttered her biggest secret ever.

Maura turned a little so that she was now facing the brunette, they were that close they could lean in and kiss each other, but now was hardly the time for that.

''No one is going to want to partner up with me. I'm a woman to begin with Maura. I have to prove myself twice as much all the other guys have to. And now I have this freaking pacemaker in me. They will _all_ think I'm weak. Heck, _I_ think I'm weak. No one will trust me. It's a waste of time Maura. My career is over. And I pretend now like I have a choice, but the truth is that I don't.''

Maura didn't know what to say. The last thing she would ever do is lie to Jane, or give her false hope. If Jane didn't believe in herself, then no one else could. And selfishly, Maura wasn't entirely sure she would feel relaxed knowing Jane was out there on the streets facing danger head on. The possibility of accidents was quite significant. But Maura was also aware of the fact that she cared enough about Jane to know that she would accept whatever Jane chose to do. So Maura didn't say anything, and chose instead to pull Jane into a hug, to feel Jane close to her, to know in that moment that Jane was alright and safe.

''I think I'll have that bath now,'' Jane sniffed as she pulled away from Maura.

The blonde got Jane her toiletries and a change of clothes, quickly putting them in the bathroom before Jane entered. She was desperate to avoid their earlier situation because something told her they wouldn't be able to control themselves.

''Thanks,'' Jane rasped as she disappeared from Maura's view.

Sitting on the couch, Maura opened a new Google page on her phone and started doing research into which career Jane could enter if she chose to leave the BPD.

* * *

 **\- It is how we embrace the uncertainty in our lives that leads to the great transformations of our soul, Brandon A. Trean -**


	9. Chapter 9

'' **When you can't figure out why you like someone, it is a sign that you have a run-of-the-mill crush. When you have no clue why someone holds your interest, it is a sign that you are in love'' – Anon.**

* * *

The bath easily let Jane's concerns take a back seat. The anxiety and uncertainty she was feeling about her future all dissolved once her body was fully immersed in the bubbly water, letting only her feelings about Maura surface to the top. It was almost a surreal experience being there with Maura. But what made Jane's heart beat a little faster was the way she felt when Maura was so close to her. She felt like she could fly, like she could lay her soul on the ground for the world to see; like she could conquer the world. Maura made her feel so strong and so weak at the same time.

As Jane gathered up the strength to leave the bath tub, she wondered what the woman in the next room was doing. _Was Maura reading? Or sleeping? Or looking out the window? Or on her mobile phone? Or thinking about her? B_ ecause that's all Jane had done – think about Maura, with her silky hair and hazel eyes and dazzling smile and curvy body and…there was just so much Jane didn't know if she could handle it all. Maura was all knowing and understanding, while she was all confusion and hesitation.

Was there anywhere they could meet half way, Jane wondered as she dried herself. And the answer presented itself immediately when she wiped too hard against her pacemaker, causing her instant discomfort. _She'll never want someone hanging on to life by the thread, Jane thought. She'll never want anyone as broken and useless as me – jobless and houseless._

The metaphorical grey cloud that descended upon her was almost too heavy to keep her up. In fact, it was heavy enough to knock her over until she found herself stumbling over the sinking, pushing the toiletries that sat there to the ground in one swift move.

''Fuck,'' she hissed as she righted herself, letting the wave of dizziness pass her.

Maura hadn't been on her phone for more than two minutes after Jane started her bath. Upon reflection the blonde had immediately realised that it was too presumptuous of her to go around looking for career alternatives for Jane, a woman she had only know a short time. Maura didn't want to seem like a 'pushy know-it-all' so she decided she would do it together with Jane after they had had some time to talk about it.

So she had sat on the sofa, staring outside the window with an almost blank mind. The loud clutter of things hitting the ground caught her attention about thirty minutes later.

She shot up from her sitting position faster than she ever had in her entire life. ''Jane?'' she said nervously, placing her ear to the bathroom door in hopes of getting answers. ''Jane are you alright?''

''Yeah,'' Jane sighed.

Clearly she wasn't alright.

''What happened? Is everything OK?'' it was all Maura could do not to open that bathroom door to make sure for herself that Jane was fine.

''I just…dropped this stuff,'' Maura could hear the exasperation in Jane's voice loud and clear. The noises coming from the other side of the door indicate that Jane was making an attempt to fix whatever had happened in there.

''Could I come in…please,'' Maura asked in her most pleading voice knowing that the chances that Jane would say yes were slim to zero.

But lo and behold, ''Yeah,'' Jane replied lazily. Maura almost missed it, but when she caught up she rushed to open the door afraid that Jane would change her mind.

''Are you alright?'' Maura fussed, crouching down to pick the bottles of shampoo and conditioner, a hair brush, lotion, a tube of toothpaste, and other smaller bits.

''I just knocked this over by mistake,'' Jane said sheepishly. She hated how a little scene like this made her appear unstable.

Noticing that Jane felt bad enough as it was, Maura said nothing further. As she stood up though, her eyes landed square-on on Jane's scar. The brunette's wet hair hung loosely over her shoulders with a white towel wrapped securely around her body.

When Jane zeroed in on what Maura was looking at she hurried to place a hand over the pacemaker area, and tried to turn away from Maura quickly.

''Don't,'' Maura said. One word spoken so strongly Jane actually stilled her actions.

The blonde covered the space between them in no time and was stood right in front of Jane. ''Don't hide this from me,'' she said as she traced her index finger over the thin scar. When Jane didn't push her away she put her hand over the slightly raised bump of Jane's pacemaker. It was a little awkward with the towel tightened around Jane but Maura just put her hand there as best as she could. ''This will always be _our_ story. This will be the evidence that we met randomly, and that I helped you, and that you were strong enough to pull through, and that we managed to build a friendship from it.'' Jane didn't dare move as Maura traced her finger over the scar again. ''This will remind you everyday that you were lucky enough to get a second chance, and that you need to make the most of it. It will remind you of how precious and important life is.''

After pausing for a short while, wondering if it was a good idea to carry on or not, Maura spoke again, still stood in the same position, ''Don't hide it from me, because it will remind _me_ too of all those things. And of how glad I am to have you in my life''

For the first time, thinking about that scar didn't make Jane want to cry.

And then Maura took another step closer to Jane, tilted her head up a little bit and placed her lips against the scar. ''I'm really glad you're OK,'' Maura murmured against Jane's skin, placing her lips on the same place for another kiss.

Overwhelmed with emotion, Jane only managed to wrap her hands around Maura and hug her. The blonde let her ear rest against Jane's body, feeling the strong heart beat against her.

Jane wasn't going to tell Maura that this was the first time she had ever felt good about herself since the incident, because she knew Maura knew that already.

A few seconds later…''I'll let you finish up,'' Maura said as she extracted herself from Jane. ''I'll come and have a quick shower'' She exited the bathroom, leaving Jane in an almost daze as the brunette's eyes followed her out.

* * *

Jane took the opportunity to reply to a few texts and lie down to rest as Maura had her wash. True to her word, the blonde indeed took a quick shower. When Maura returned to their room, she was in a lovely loose fitting deep purple dress and black flats.

Jane was going to say 'wow, you look incredible' but found that she was at a loss for words. Maura looked _more than_ incredible. Her attire was simple but somehow she managed to make it superior.

''I hope the clothes are to your liking,'' she said, offering Jane a radiant smile.

The sentence brought Jane back to earth. ''Something tells me they aren't really to my liking but hey…what do _I_ know''

''Oh, do they not fit we-''

Jane cut her off as she laughed and stood up from the bed. ''Maura, these are fine. I saw you trying to be smart taking the tags off earlier''

Maura shyly tried to make herself busy, which made things even more awkward since there wasn't really anything to busy herself with. ''I was just…uhh…folding the clothes up and putting them away''

''I know you paid a chunk load for these Maura; you don't have to lie to me. How did you know my size anyway?''

Well at least the last part Maura could answer without having to mention money, ''I have an eye for shopping, as you might well know; and I'm quite adept at estimations. So by looking at you it wasn't hard to tell that you are-''

''I see'' Jane said cutting off her rambling. ''Thanks for the errr…'' she trailed on, motioning to the general vicinity of her breasts. ''The one I had was kinda uncomfortable''

''You hadn't bought new bras had you? I thought I told you before.'' Maura switched to the concerned friend very quickly.

''I just thought it wasn't necessary, but after wearing this strapless one I realise it's better than the straps I had before which kept rubbing roughly against my…you know''

Maura could tell Jane was still uncomfortable with just saying the word pacemaker. It seemed as if Jane saw it as some sort of contagious disease that would make people not want to be near her. Maura wasn't sure how best to assure Jane that it was alright. Earlier in the bathroom they had made progress, but clearly not enough. Maura wasn't too worried though because she knew she would be around for all of eternity to assure Jane every day if the brunette let her.

''I'm glad that it's made you feel more comfortable''

''If you let me know how much all this was I'll reimburse you''

''Jane-''

''Yes Maura. I can't have you spending this much on me''

''It was just a change of clothes and a bathing suit''

''Two change of clothes, a bra, underwear, swim suit, toiletries, a _pair_ of shoes-''

''It's OK Jane. Can we just not talk about this'' Maura's voice sounded final, and Jane was surprised at how incredibly uncomfortable she became…or was she upset.

''Hey...Maura,'' Jane said going to sit on the sofa next to her friend. ''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make this a big deal''

''Don't worry about it''

''I _should_ worry about it because you are upset,'' Jane insisted.

''To be honest it's not an issue. There really isn't any point in us sitting here talking about money and clothes that have already been bought.''

''Any other time I would agree with you. But you are upset and I can't just let that go. What's this about Maura?''

Maura let out a deep sigh, which proved to Jane that there _was_ an issue – which Maura didn't really want to talk about, clearly. But when Jane remained silent looking expectantly at Maura with those warm comforting eyes, the blonde relented. ''I briefly dated someone a while ago. She uhh,'' Maura turned herself a little bit away from Jane so she wouldn't have to see the expression on the brunette's face. ''Things didn't really work out. She said I was a bit controlling…in a kind way. And that she basically didn't really like me''

''I don't understand. _Controlling in a kind way?_ ''

''Like what I've just done Jane. I got all these things for you without asking, which means you have no choice but to wear them. I didn't even ask what type of clothes you wanted, whether you preferred these loafers or wanted flats instead, or something else entirely. I figured I knew what's best for you and didn't give you the option of speaking for yourself''

''I don't mind all this Maura. And you got me a perfect bra which is more than I can say for myself,'' Jane tried to assure Maura even though she was almost speaking to the pathologists back.

''The point is that I didn't even _ask_ Jane. That's why Mandy and I had problems. It wasn't always because what I did wasn't right, it was because I never asked or gave her a choice. She was right, I _am_ controlling''

''Don't say that Maura''

''It's true. She said I throw around my money being kind and helpful as a means to control people''

Jane didn't know what to say because Maura had some very valid points. Yes, some truth could be seen in what Maura was saying, but in this instance Jane truly didn't mind that Maura chose all this for her. The brunette's only concern was that Maura had spent a lot of money, that's all.

''How about this eh?'' Jane prompted. Maura just scooted further more from Jane's view. ''From now on, you try to always ask me before you do things that involve me. And if you don't I'll remind you until we get to a point where asking will come naturally to you''

It didn't go unnoticed by both of them that during their conversations they always hinted to a future where they would certainly be in each others lives.

''Ok'' Maura replied in a low voice.

It was obvious to Jane that the both of them had been hurt badly in their previous relationships. _Could we heal each other? Jane mused. Could we be perfect for each other?_

It all seemed too soon for Jane's thoughts to be heading in that direction. It had only been a quick attraction up until a few days ago. Could things really have progressed so far in such a short period of time? Could things have gotten to the point of something profound and intense? Jane didn't know.

At Jane's soft tugs Maura eventually turned to face Jane, feeling so shy and embarrassed she could melt.

''I think one of the reasons why we have been become such good friends so quickly is because we are very honest with ourselves and with each other,'' Jane said to her, smiling for extra comfort.

''Yes,'' Maura agreed.

''When I felt that I wanted to talk to you, I contacted you. And each time since that first time, whenever I ever felt I wanted to talk to you I did just that. If I hadn't been honest and allowed myself that we wouldn't be here together. I wanted to come here with you and so I asked you''

''I thought you asked me here because you felt terrible that I didn't celebrate my birthday so you felt we should share your gift''

Jane laughed. ''Yes, and that Maura''

Finally relaxed, Maura allowed Jane to pull her into a sideways hug. They were so touchy-feely. Maura didn't understand it. She had never been the sort of person to seek such sort of constant intimacy from a person, but something about the gorgeous woman in her presence kept pulling her in.

''Sooooo, ready to head out?'' Jane said in a suddenly chipper voice.

* * *

The two took a quick walk around the hotel. They located the massage rooms and the pool areas as well as the gym.

Since it was a bit too early for dinner, they went over to the bar.

''Are you trying to get me drunk Doctor Isles?'' Jane teased.

''What's the fun in telling you that Officer,'' Maura teased backed.

''I'll just keep a close eye on you then, and make sure that we're drinking the same number of glasses''

''Oh Jane, that's not going to help. Your alcohol tolerance level and mine are most probably different. Not to mention that we might be having different types of alcohol, with completely different alcohol volum-''

''Ok ok ok, you got me. Go on then,'' Jane picked up the cocktail menu and placed it in front on Maura. ''Make me drunk, take advantage of me all you want''

They were starting that dangerous game of theirs again.

''What can I get for you two ladies?'' the server asked once he got to them.

''We'll have two glasses of your specialty cocktail please,'' Maura answered.

''Lovely. Comi-''

Jane cut off the young man, '' _I_ _will_ have a Mai Tai please, strong'' she said winking at the man.

''Will that be all?''

Jane looked at Maura expectantly. ''Yes,'' the blonde replied, barely audible.

''You did that again,'' Jane smiled.

''I'm sorry. This is what I was saying'' Maura sounded so defeated Jane almost wished she had let it go.

''You see the beauty of communication? Instead of me getting angry and frustrated with you for ordering something I don't like, I just order what I prefer and remind you that you didn't ask. _Simple!_ ''

''What happens when you get tired of it? If I can't learn quickly enough?''

''I will _never_ get tired of it. And we have _so_ much time I don't doubt that we'll have this down to an art in no time at all''

Maura couldn't help the smile that graced her face. She dearly wished that she could always be this happy in Jane's presence. All that fear about whether or not they would get along once they started spending time together was wiped away.

''In my defense though, this time around, you handed the menu to me and told me to have a go at getting you drunk. It kind of implied that you were expecting me to order''

''Hmmm. I guess so. My bad,'' Jane confidently picked Maura's hand up from the table and raised it to her lips, kissing the back of it. ''I'm sorry''

''S'okay,'' Maura mumbled, loving the feel of Jane's lips against her skin.

Their three drinks then arrived.

 _Awkward!_

''I'll have the same one as you, and then we'll share mine. How's that?''

''Perfect'' Maura was glad Jane had the ability to soften any situation in record time.

* * *

Three cocktails each and several topics of discussion later, they finally set off for dinner.

They continued to talk as they dined; opting not to drink any more since they were both quite 'buzzed'.

''Soooo, we gonna do this massage thing or what?'' Jane giggled as they made their way back upstairs to their room.

''Yes we are going to do this _massage thing,_ '' Maura slurred a bit whilst pushing through the door.

Jane discarded her shoes and slumped onto the bed, with Maura following right behind her.

''Gosh I wish you could go to the toilet for me. I don't wanna move''

''What makes you think I'd be willing to do it for you?'' Maura laughed, turning on her side to face the lazy form beside her.

''I have a feeling you'd do _a lot_ for me,'' Jane finished off the sentence trying her best to hide her burp. ''You know why?''

''Why?''

Jane mimicked Maura's action and turned onto her side too. ''because I'd do a lot for you too. Even though you kissed me without my permission''

Maura looked shocked, ''What?''

''Oh don't tell me it meant so little to you that you have already forgotten,'' Jane pretended to be utterly hurt, causing Maura to let out a loud laugh after she finally caught on to what Jane was referring to.

''How could I have asked you when you were unconscious?'' she asked as her laugh died down, wiping at the tear that leaked from her eye.

''If you wanted to kiss me you could have just waited until I was conscious so you could get my approval…or _disapproval.''_

That caused Maura to now falsify pain. ''You mean you would have denied me the pleasure?''

''Well now you'll never know…although,'' Jane said, sounding as if she had come up with the most brilliant beyond brilliant idea ever, ''you could always ask me now that I'm conscious, and see what I'd say''

''I won't take advantage of you again, since you are a little tipsy''

''No I'm not,'' Jane denied, propping herself up on one elbow. ''Do I look like someone who wouldn't know what they wanted or didn't want right now''

''No.'' Maura's eyes landed on Jane's lips for a brief moment before she looked back up into dark-brown gorgeous eyes. ''May I kiss you?'' She found herself asking, and meaning it very much.

''Yes you may,'' Jane didn't even pretend to think about it.

So Maura propped herself up on her elbow just like Jane had done. And now that they were at eye level things seemed to become real. Maura's head was still a bit 'woozy' from the cocktails, although it wasn't to the point that she didn't understand the gravity of what they were doing. ''May I kiss you Jane?'' She asked again seriously. But the alcohol dancing around in her brain caused her to let out a soft giggle.

Jane watched Maura giggle, _like really_ , could she be any cuter. It was a bit daunting for Jane to get her head around the idea that this perfect specimen in front of her genuinely wanted to kiss her. The brunette knew that she wasn't tipsy enough to forget it. She would remember, and so she would do it. ''Not if _I_ kiss you first,'' Jane answered, immediately moving her lips towards Maura's.

And when their lips met Maura felt herself flying away. There is a lot that can be said about the sense of feeling with one's eyes closed. It was so sharp, so vivid. Maura felt her synapses firing away and she couldn't help but move closer to Jane.

With their lips pressed together Jane felt Maura shift, and she did too until they were flush against each other. ''Kiss me again'' Maura said once she got a chance to get some oxygen into her.

That final affirmation must have been what Jane was unconsciously waiting for, because she moved her hands into Maura's hair and pulled the blonde down onto the pillows with her. Once Maura was slightly on top of her Jane sucked her bottom lip harder, opening up her mouth for Maura to enter.

The blonde didn't need any other invitation as her tongue became fully acquainted with Jane's mouth. Jane felt so good, and so strong. Maura loved the way Jane held her, desperately pulling her in even though it was clear they couldn't get any closer.

The room was filled with the sounds of their moaning as they kissed and kissed and kissed.

''I desperately need the toilet'' Jane panted regretfully once they managed to break off the kiss.

* * *

 **AN: You reckon they'll continue or is it over...(for now)?**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: I changed the rating to M for precautionary measures in this chapter, but I guess it has to be done either way for future chapters. Happy reading and thanks for sharing your lovely thoughts.**

* * *

 **To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with - Mark Twain**

After using the toilet and coming to terms with how perfectly turned on she was - evidenced by the wet panty liner she had just changed – Jane splashed some cold water on her face and returned to Maura. The blonde was exactly where Jane had left her, lying on her back and staring dreamily at the ceiling. Her face was slightly flushed and Jane couldn't help focusing on the bit of exposed cleavage as it went up and down in sync with Maura's breaths.

''I'm ready to go when you are,'' Jane said.

When Maura turned her head to the brunette, she smiled widely, offering Jane a quick response, ''I'll just use the bathroom and I'll be ready''

Maura did almost the same thing Jane had done when she was in the bathroom – use the toilet, change her ruined panty liner, stare at her horny self, and then splash some cold water on her face, not caring that it ruined her make-up a little. It's not as if it mattered anyway, they would be taking it all off once her facial started.

''I'll get our swim wear in case we decide to use the hot tub or go for a swim''

 _Very unlikely, Jane replied in her mind._ At no point in the immediate future did she think she would be ready and willing to strut around in front of Maura in some flimsy piece of material. It wasn't happening. And certainly not with all the feeling causing havoc within her.

By the time they got to the massage suite, it was as if the kiss hadn't really happened. They had easily slipped back to chatting as normal without any weirdness surrounding them. It hit Maura, that the only time things got extremely weird was when they were in an enclosed space alone. During those times they would either be suffocated by sexual tension, or consumed with the need to comfort one another. It was always either end of the spectrum. But once they were in public, they heavily flirted and conversed easily.

''Soooo we have a private room,'' Jane stated the obvious upon arrival.

''Of course. What did you expect?'' Maura casually replied as she set the bag down and glanced around the room.

''I don't know what I expected to be honest,'' Jane chuckled. She hadn't put much thought into it but somehow she guessed it would be a type of open space of some sort with perhaps other guests around. As it turned out, they were in a room with two of the most luxurious massage beds Jane had ever seen. The set up as a whole was strongly romantic. The lights were dimmed to a soft yellowish hue and between the two beds was a tray with Champagne, two glasses and some chocolates.

''Oh Jane this is lovely,'' Maura said beckoning Jane to come over to her.

The brunettes jaw nearly hit the floor when she peered through the door Maura had just opened. Inside their massage suite was a private hot tub.

''I see you're looking forward to that,'' A woman entering the suite drew their attention.

''I must say, it's very enticing,'' Maura beamed.

''Well good. Once we're done here it's all yours,'' the Asian woman winked at Maura as she said this, causing the blonde to blush deeply.

''Wow. This is really cool,'' Jane piped in.

Maura was so glad Jane was warming up to the whole idea and not being put off instead.

Another Asian woman shortly joined them and introduced herself. ''If you both get undressed and comfortable we'll start with the facial then do the full body massage''

Again, Jane's jaw almost dropped to the floor. _GET UNDRESSED?_ Of course they had to undress. How the fuck did she think she was going to have a _full body massage_ with all her clothes on. ''Guess I didn't think this through huh,'' she said out loud, rubbing the back of her neck.

Maura winced a bit. This was probably the point where Jane was going to draw the line.

''But hey….we're here right. Might as well get on with it,'' Jane announced cheerfully all of a sudden. She wasn't fully surprised by her boldness. Ever since meeting Maura she had said and done things she never imagined she'd do so this was only just adding to the list – nothing new there.

''I'll get ready first then,'' Maura said, hoping to make things a bit easier on the brunette. She opened up the room divider and disappeared behind it as she unleashed her clothes and wrapped herself up in the towel provided. After neatly placing her clothes on the couch she stepped into full view to let Jane have a go.

Quickly averting her eyes from Maura Jane dashed behind the room divider and got undressed as well.

By the time the masseuses returned Jane and Maura had downed half the bottle of wine and were now both lying on the beds facing each other. ''Wonderful, you're all set,'' one of the women said. ''If you can turn over for me, we'll start with your face''

Jane and Maura did as instructed, being extra careful not to let the small towel keeping their modesty slip off. The masseuses talked to them as they explained what they were doing to their faces. They offered advice on how to care for their skin and all that kinds of stuff. Once their faces were done they turned over for the rest of the massage.

''This is actually really good,'' Jane practically moaned it.

''Eh hmmm,'' Maura made a sound in agree-ance.

The masseuse commented on how tense Jane was and put a little more effort while working on her muscles.

By the time the massage was finished, Jane was fast asleep – bearing in mind that since being in hospital she had become accustomed to an evening nap.

''It's OK, you can leave us,'' Maura assured the Asian ladies once they were finished. Left alone, Maura wondered what she would do. Could she wake Jane up and suggest going back to their room for a nap. That was a bit silly anyway because by the time Jane got up and dressed and they set off, she wouldn't be sleepy anymore. Since Jane looked comfortable enough where she was, Maura let her be.

The blonde changed in her two piece purple bikini and turned the hot tub jets on, also setting the water temperature to her specific liking. She grabbed two tabloid magazines from the table and poured herself a full glass of wine and then settled into the water. It was heavenly, just what she needed. It was a shame Jane wasn't there to join her.

The magazines were complete bullshit to Maura. The blonde couldn't for the life of her understand how people honestly enjoyed reading all that stuff. Not being one to judge, Maura simply put them away and took her mobile phone. It was almost an hour later when Maura heard Jane's beautifully groggy voice. ''Maura?''

''I'm in here,'' she called out. She had been sure not to close the door so she could hear Jane when she got up. ''Wanna join me?''

''Sureee,'' Jane said, finishing off with a yawn.

After changing into the one piece Maura had bought for her, and thinking she was going to remove it and scratch the hot tub altogether, Jane amazingly found herself joining Maura. ''Sorry I fell asleep on you,'' she said shyly standing at the door with the towel around her shoulders covering her body.

''I wouldn't say you _fell asleep ON me_ as such. It's more like you-''

''I know. I'm sorry I fell _asleep_ ''

''It's OK Jane. The massage was really relaxing and you were tired''

''I'm not very fun company am I?''

''I beg to differ,'' Maura smiled, standing out of the water walking towards Jane. ''I have thoroughly enjoyed the time we've spent together so far''

Jane could hardly hear what Maura was saying through the pounding of her heart. It was obvious that Maura was beautiful, but in a bikini with water droplet running down her body, Jane was sure the word beautiful needed another definition.

''What shall I bring you to drink?'' Maura asked as she brushed past Jane into the massage room.

''Whatever you're having''

With Maura vaguely out of sight, Jane quickly discarded her towel and submerged herself in the warm water. And just like all her experiences that day, it felt divine. With the water from the jets hitting on all the right places, Jane sat on the seat in one corner of the square shaped hot tub and rested her back allowing all forms of pleasure to wash over her body.

Maura returned quietly with two glasses of wine in her hands. She granted herself a few moments of guilty pleasure while watching Jane unnoticed. The brunettes whole body was in the water and all Maura could make out was the wavy shape of it from outside the tub. Jane's long limbs swayed together with the water as soft moans escaped her lips.

''Here you go,'' Maura finally made herself known, afraid to be caught staring.

''I totally get why people do this,'' Jane confessed without opening her eyes. ''I would happily move into this hotel''

Once Maura set their glasses down she positioned herself a little further from Jane, not wanting the other woman to feel uncomfortable but also not being able to sit so far away from her.

''You could always come to place if you feel like relaxing in a hot tub''

Jane's eyes shot open immediately. ''You have a hot tube at your house''

Suddenly Maura felt a little self-conscious. _Could this be considered as 'showing off'? She wondered._ ''Yes I do''

''Gosh, I wonder how you make it anywhere. I'd never be productive in life if I had this at my house''

Jane reached for her wine glass as Maura began speaking, ''I believe it's more interesting when you have company. I'm pretty sure I used more of it when I was in a relationship compared to when I wasn't.'' At that Jane gave her a funny look. ''What?'' she asked sceptically.

''Nothing''

''Oh come on, don't say that. You wanted to pass a comment, or ask a question. What is it?''

''I was just wondering why you used your hot tub more with past lovers than alone. Then I figured why''

Maura's blush turned her face a deep red. She felt like she'd been caught in the process of performing a despicable act.

''I guess this is your way of seducing the women huh,'' Jane joked while playfully sticking her toe in Maura's calf.

''Jane! Of course not,'' Maura looked horrified. Even though she knew Jane was joking she couldn't shake off the feeling that maybe this is what Jane would think of her.

''Well you wouldn't tell me if it was anyway''

''I'll have you know that I've never seduced a woman before,'' the silence that followed let that statement hang in the air for quite a bit.

''Why do I find that hard to believe?''

They both seemed to drain their wine glasses quickly before abandoning them.

''We don't have to talk about this if you don't want to Maura''

The blonde twirled her hand about in the water, trying to decide whether it was something she wanted to talk about or not. Ultimately, she found herself opening up – as she always did around Jane. ''I've never got the chance to ask anyone out, or to even initiate a romantic relationship or…intimate activities.''

It didn't escape Maura though that even though Jane was the one who initiated the communication between them; she seemed to be the one to initiate intimacy between them. Her and Jane had a balance right from the get go. Jane pushed a little, and she pushed a bit more as well. They each took turns in moving forward, which always left them on the same page.

''So _all_ your exes are the ones that asked you out?'' Maura nodded to Jane's question. ''And they are the ones that…came on to you''

''In a manner of speaking, yes. Was it very different from _your_ experiences?'' Maura wondered.

''Well not really I guess. I've only been with three guys.'' Maura didn't give her a funny face or say anything so she went on, ''Joey asked me out in high school and we dated till about my…second year in the academy. I initiated the _intimate activities_ ,'' Jane tried to lighten up the situation by imitating Maura. It had the desired effect. Tension broken, Jane ploughed on, ''I'd always known Casey because we grew up in the same neighbourhood and all. So a while after Joey and I broke up me and him got together''

When Jane didn't continue Maura wondered if perhaps she had heard wrong. _Hadn't Jane said three guys?_

Seeing the perplexed look on Maura's face Jane decided to come out with it. ''Casey and I sort of had an on and off typa thing in the first three years we were together. I worked with this guy for some time, Rafael, and him and I sort of…you know''

''Slept together?''

Jane felt thoroughly ashamed. She shouldn't have said anything, because Maura was now looking at her differently.

''Casey and I had broken things off,'' she defended. ''I know it's no excuse but I thought we wouldn't get back together and I was so mad and Rafael was there, all hot and wonderful so…things just happened.''

''Did you date him or you just had sex?''

Jane cringed a little. When Maura asked questions like that it somehow made it all seem wrong.

''Well not date _date_ him. We just sort of had a…I don't know, friends with benefits sort of thing. Then he went away anyway. Everyone always seems to leave me,'' Jane finished off sadly.

Maura wanted to scream that she'd never leave. That she would be wherever Jane wanted to be. And that if they ever left they would leave together. But she figured Jane had heard all this before. People are always fond of saying sweet things like 'I'll never leave you' but when the true time of testing comes they leave. It was always actions that mattered and not so much the words of assurance.

''I'm sorry''

''It's fine. That's just how it's meant to be isn't it''

''So you haven't been with a woman before?'' Maura let the bold question hang out there again.

''No.'' the room fell eerily silent and only the noise of the water could be heard.

''Earlier on…,'' Maura started, swaying her legs from side to side in search of something mundane to distract her. ''You kissed me like…''

''Like what?'' Jane asked as she turned to face Maura fully, tucking one leg under her thigh.

''Like you really knew what you were doing''

''I've kissed people before Maura''

''I know, it's just…you seemed confident like you've been with a woman before. Am I even making sense,'' Maura shook her head at her failure to properly articulate herself. The words to express what she was trying to say exactly where not coming to her.

''Does it have to be different. The way I kiss a man and the way I kiss a woman?''

''I suppose not,'' Maura said after thinking about it for a little while.

''There is a difference though, between kissing _you_ and kissing someone else.'' Maura perked up at this. ''The need to go to the toilet kinda ruined it all.'' They both nervously chuckled, and then Jane scooted closer to Maura. ''I don't need the toilet now,'' she passed on the suggestive remark.

''Good!'' That's all the invitation Maura needed before lifting up and straddling Jane, happy that the seat was big enough to allow that.

The sensation of Maura's skin against hers had Jane almost vibrating from head to toe. And she slid forward just a bit so that Maura could cross her legs behind her back, effectively bringing their fronts right flush against each other.

''Kissing a woman might not feel different, as you put it,'' Maura whispered, her face directly in front of Jane's. ''but being intimate with a woman is _completely_ different.'' Her voice turned into a heavily seductive tone. ''The feel of a woman's breasts against your own is different to the feeling of a man's bare chest.'' To demonstrate her point she pushed her chest a little further from Jane's and then brought them together again.

Jane moaned faintly at this, appreciating Maura's point fully. Desire rushed through as body when she felt Maura's hard nipple brush against her own hard one.

''Feeling a woman's curves and delicate skin is a wholly dissimilar experience compared to a man's hairy skin and muscular nature,'' and to demonstrate this Maura moved her thighs away from Jane's lap and slid her way slowly back until her crotch was back against Jane's. The blonde felt exhilarated when she heard Jane moan a little louder. She took the brunette's hands and guided them to run down the sides of her body from just below her breasts, down to her hips, and then over her ass.

Unable to help herself, Jane repeated this action again on her own. Maura's skin _did_ feel soft, and her curves felt so right against her palms. Her clit was throbbing, her swim suit filling with wetness. She had imagined what being with a woman would be like, but nothing had prepared her for how positively toxic it was. How addictive it felt. _This_ is what she was meant to be feeling all these years. _This_ is what she had missed out on. _This_ is what was right for _her -_ what she needed.

''And there is a whole lot more''

''Tell me,'' Jane rasped. ''and show me.'' Her voice was so filled with desire Maura almost gave in. The blonde didn't know if she could hold out at all. Feeling Jane touch her was an even bigger turn on that she anticipated. Despite Jane inexperience, her actions felt so confident. Maura wanted her. She wanted her now. But she had to be careful, because if she let her imminent want cloud her, she could lose Jane forever.

''Not tonight Jane,''

The look on Jane's face was almost comical. The brunette didn't seem to her considered the fact that this wouldn't go any further than this.

''Not tonight,'' she repeated.

Those lips!

Jane pulled Maura down for a kiss. A kiss which heated up so fast neither of them saw it coming. Jane ran her hands from Maura's hair right through to her ass, pulling her in as much as possible. And when the blonde started to grind her crotch into Jane, the brunette thought she'd come undone in that moment.

''Touch me,'' Jane begged as she kissed Maura down her neck, learning immediately that it was the blonde's weakest spot. And Jane didn't blame her when Maura couldn't do what she asked; the blonde was barely hanging on as it was.

So Jane brought her left hand up and groped Maura's breast eliciting a moan that pushed Jane further, who kneaded the soft mound even harder. ''Oh Jane…''

Maura was scared. The little bit of conscious thought she was holding onto was screaming at her to stop, but it was so damn hard because it felt so damn good.

Maura's nipple felt so hard against her bikini all Jane wanted to do was free the breast and suck on it. But before she could do that, she felt Maura pull away ever so slightly. And a moment later she pulled away a bit more. ''We need to stop,'' the blonde said regrettably, trying hard to catch her breath.

* * *

 **Find a woman who can make you throb with lust doing the most mundane things; she could be washing the dishes, doing her make-up, swimming next to you in the pool, just find her. She will add years to your life; and the sex will be good too. – Matt Baker.**


End file.
